Been doing lots of work on ALLOWING in my own personal life these days.
Stripping back all the chaotic conditioning - deeper and deeper. The work never ends. And I don’t mean that in a complaining, low-energy way. I mean it in an expansive and beautiful way.
The work never ends - I don’t know why we think there’s a destination where we suddenly know and are everything we “want” to be or THINK we want to be. No no my love. It doesn’t work that way. We’re in this for the long-haul. Always stepping up and meeting our true self at the gate. Over and over. And that’s a GOOD thing. But that’s a different topic for a different day.
Back to allowing.
So I’ve been seeing - or it’s being shown to me - That allowing and receiving in this life has nothing to do with laziness or sitting on your ass and expecting things to come to you.
Allowing is about open-handed trust.
When you step into ALLOWING your desires to fall into your hands - you are actually saying a very strong and clear NO to all the shit that pushes your true self AWAY from you.
When you allow - you are allowing all the remnants of despair to come up and out. They are clearing your path for what you truly desire to become available to and for you.
And allowing/receiving is not about doing nothing. It is about doing what’s required in the moment to clear the field.
We have it backwards - we want to take action and do and do and do and do. And obsess and cling and work really hard. And that’s fine - I spent most of my life in that place. A trauma response. I was really just re-affirming my mother’s frenetic voice about how it would never be good enough. Prove prove prove. Try try try. Force force force.
But I did kind of notice that there were these moments in which I would let go - hands bleeding and sore from holding on. I just needed a break from all that pushing. And I noticed that in those moments - what I desired would appear to me. Or I would suddenly be given the strength to push aside the garbage that was clogging up my emotional body and nervous system. Years ago when I was in a very unhealthy relationship with an addict - I struggled for three years holding on and hoping and wishing and using all my might to push the thing uphill - but then, when I let go of it. Stopped trying and pushing and let the relationship END, I just stepped away. As if it was so easy to do it all along. A moment of clarity I believe they call it.
And there are MANY little pieces of ash and dirt - residue I still find lurking in my psyche and soul. Blindspots in which I didn’t notice I was holding on from the fear that I just wasn’t good enough. That people always leave me. That things don’t work out. That promises are always broken. Of course when there’s no evidence to support that, our minds are very good at CREATING that evidence.
So my question for you is where are you holding on for dear life to an outcome. Where are you trying SO hard because you think you could never be worthy of receiving something? Where are the unbalanced energy dynamics in your life? Where are you addicted to the pushing and striving because you are terrified that there really IS something wrong with you?
And… where can you increase your allowing and receiving. You might just want to start with letting go. Your hands are tired anyway… if you look down you’ll notice they are red and sore from the grip you’ve got on that rope. Let’s let go. Let’s surrender. Let’s allow. Let’s trust that we don’t have to MAKE every single thing happen. Healing, recovery, goals, relationships. Let’s let go to make room. For some of us, it’s the most challenging work we will ever do.
Continue Forward in Healing,
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