Pursuit… in and of itself - that is the magic. That is the divinity. That is the WHOLE point.
Not the pursuit of dreams from false-self. Not the pursuit in favour of validation or what we think we need to pursue to be worthy of existing.
But the pursuit of your divine vision - your inner calling and resonance, whatever that is for you.
THAT pursuit - is gold. And the pursuit itself will even HEAL you. At the deepest level. The healing and unfolding always happens in motion. The nature of life is change. The nature of life is movement and so is the nature of healing.
THAT pursuit will humble and electrify, and sculpt and mold and absolutely show you your own self more than anything else.
And by the time you have what you have pursued - you will continue the path ANYWAY. Because it was never about what you “wanted” it was never about the “goal” It was the doing itself - the reckoning of that. The making and the creating and the persisting and resisting and opening and expanding of that.
It was ALWAYS the pursuit.
So when you quit on yourself because it’s hard?
Because it’s uncomfortable?
Because it feels like it’s endless and ongoing and it will never end?
That’s true baby.
But what you’re missing is that as the pursuit becomes part of you - you will no longer dread the nature of it. You will come to embrace it. And you will become one with it. Jedi shit.
Why do you think you have those desires? Down deeeeep deep down?
Why do you think you have that inkling of faith that you could recover, heal, create your dream life or relationship, or recover from that addiction, or just DO the thing that you’ve been swirling around but not truly committing to for so long. Why do you think you have that drive and inkling and spark that you were MEANT for something…
Days become years.
Back to square one.
Wondering why you can’t break through.
But it’s NOT ABOUT THAT. It’s so not about what you think the breakthrough is.
The breakthrough happens LONG.. long before you obtain the treasure.
The DECISION to move forward in the pit… that is the breakthrough.
It is about the daily pursuit.
TOWARD the vision. TOWARD what CAN/COULD/WILL be but feels so far away right now. Choosing it. Drawing it out of you when it seems like all that’s in there is weakness and ash and fear.
You are right it is hard and uncomfortable. You are right it feels endless and ongoing and like it will never end. But it feels that way now, because you refuse to surrender - or maybe you don’t know you need to. Surrender to what exactly?
The pursuit itself! The journey itself! The reason you have the dream and desire is because you were meant to overcome every obstacle along the way of it ...and come to KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt your own worthiness, power, and shadows along the way.
Self actualization as our darling Carl Jung would say.
You were meant for this! You were meant for the pursuit.
Do you trust that what you desire and feel is truth? Can you trust that calling… even if it’s just a whisper right now.
It pulls you forward on the days you feel like crawling - and maybe you do crawl…
But you won’t always.
But even if you’re crawling - you’re MOVING toward it.
You are PURSUING it.
Do you think it matters how you LOOK as you pursue it?
Do you think it matters that you mess up, tremble, feel weak? Do you think that somehow disqualifies you from your heart's pursuit?
That is the VERY THING that does qualify you.
That you are willing to feel your way through it is the victory in itself.
You mustn’t shame yourself for the failures in the arena - those are gold medals as far as I am concerned. You earned the dirt in your hair, when you chose to move toward the goal - no matter how small, or how stupid or simple - or how far back there you have to meet yourself to bring yourself to where you want to go.
THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT.
You are worthy of dignity in that place.
Don’t be ashamed of the drops of metaphorical sweat and blood that fall… don’t be afraid of looking dirty on the way darling. You’re busy about the real work.
You’re busy about the work of your life - your DHARMA as they say.
It is our life’s work! Period.
That’s it. No.way.around.that. It’s never done.
And that’s a good thing.
I know recovery and healing from trauma and family dysfunction is a dark forest. It’s all the things that come up in the morning and at night. It’s the spiritual physical emotional chaos brimming to the surface ready to come through. It’s giving ourselves permission to trust that we are worthy - that we are more than abuse, or neglect or shame. If you want help along the way, click here to learn more about my 1-1 coaching program: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme