Shyla Cash Blog

Repairing Relational Trauma

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At its core, repairing relational trauma as in complex and childhood trauma (including family dysfunction) requires intimacy. New experiences with intimacy and being seen in new and safe ways.

That’s messy business!

It FEELS messy and chaotic. It’s not something you can mindset your way into - or intellectualize or talk around.

Sure there’s some mindset involved - but the actual healing and renegotiation work is body stuff. Plain and simple.

The work I do with clients is about tapping into those intimacy and relational patterns at their core.

I work with super smart, ambitious, talented tender hearted people who have been able to figure ALOT of things out with their minds and mindset, and even some emotional work.

They’ve built lives they are proud of and thankful for and accomplish more than most - others wonder how they can do it all….

And yet?

They still have pockets of life that feel mysteriously challenging.

For example:

...

Trauma Patterns and our Physiology

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As you age, working with trauma patterns becomes more and more important. Especially if you’re an ambitious, high performing person who wants to, and indeed IS doing BIG stuff in the world!

Why?

For most of us, our bodies move into trauma patterns unconsciously when we are young, adapting to both big and little stressors.

These stressors, if not dealt with properly, create changes in our cellular function, nervous system and DNA - but young bodies are naturally faster at keeping up with the oxidative stress.

But as we move into adulthood and beyond, The physical energy required to push the patterns away or avoid them takes an increasing toll on your cells and biological functions, as well as your executive functioning.

Meaning your body needs more and more energy to do the same things, and the pushing and avoiding becomes less and less available - and can show up in ways you wouldn’t expect (including chronic illness, brain fog, brain inflammation and more)...

Life is Always Calling us Forward

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Struggle. Talent. Art. Performance. Trauma.

Working with high performers who are talented, gifted and skillful - helping them on their healing journey - PLUS my own fascination with work and what it means for us as humans (hello Generator 5/2 Human Design) always has me thinking about these things.

The pain of life and its relationship to our work.

The age-old idea seems to be true that most of our gifts emerge initially from a place of pain or need. This is why I believe we adore superheroes - mostly mere mortals whose powers were born through tragedy or pain.

What I am particularly interested as a healing and alignment coach to excellent people who love to excel, contribute and succeed - people who feel CALLED to a certain work in the world - is how we can evolve our relationship to the work we do.

Acknowledging that much of the birth of talents and gifts happened in the dark places.

Because what I see happen over and over is that the gift saves us when it’s...

Are our Patterns really Mental?

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Most of our patterns are not mental

This is especially true with patterns that are frustrating, confusing, chaotic, painful or difficult for you to change (ahem…

t r a u m a)

There are mental COMPONENTS to patterns.

And indeed it helps to conceptualize them sometimes or to change our thinking about the pattern itself.

For example - if you have a pattern which you believe cannot change, it will help to slowly shift your idea to the possibility that it might or could potentially change.

But for the most part, our patterns live inside us in ways that are initially beyond our conscious control until we can get into the body to initiate an opening.

That’s why when you become aware of something it doesn’t immediately change.

Because there are physiological & biological (physical) as well as spiritual components to the patterns we carry with us - both good and bad.

When you’re wanting to change a pattern there are a couple things to look at:

...

I've Been Thinking about Hard Work...

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Been thinking about hard work.

I believe in hard work, there’s nothing wrong with it.

I actually kind of like it.

Actually I really like it.

I like producing things and making things.

It feels good to produce and I don’t believe that is inherently wrong at all.

I also believe in ease and flow.

Been thinking about hard work.

I believe in hard work, there’s nothing wrong with it.

I actually kind of like it.

Actually I really like it.

I like producing things and making things.

It feels good to produce and I don’t believe that is inherently wrong at all.

I also believe in ease and flow.

I don’t think these things are mutually exclusive.

I think hard work does build character, i think it pulls things out of us, and I think it is a form of service to the global community and our greater purpose. I especially love doing challenging work in collaboration - like screenwriting for example - hashing out details of a story with another writer and...

[PODCAST EPISODE 70] - EASE, FLOW & HARD WORK

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This week’s podcast episode is about the seeming contradiction between the “ease and flow” paradigm and the “hard work” paradigm.

In the online and personal development space these two “camps” seem to be miles away from each other. In reality, I believe they are more closely related than they seem.

In this episode, I share how I reconcile these two paradigms that seem to contradict each other. I also talk about how it all connects to your trauma healing and alignment journey as a high performer, entrepreneur and/or leader.

Work with me 1-1: www.shylacash.com

Facebook post about this: https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=10158702512656733&set=a.215875161732

Instagram: www.instagram.com/growhealchange

[PODCAST EPISODE 69] - ACCEPTING THE IMPACT OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

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Accepting the Impact of Childhood Trauma

Accepting the impact of trauma is the most important step in the healing journey:

What Does it mean to accept the impact of trauma?
To become aware of and address the longstanding physical, emotional and mental effects of traumatic experiences. To make the journey back into the body and begin the process of discharging chronic stress so the body can move itself into a state of repair and regeneration.

I have worked with A LOT of high performers. And one thing I have noticed is that accepting the impact of trauma is VERY challenging. I experienced this myself early in my healing journey. There’s a protective denial that unconsciously forms around the pain of the past.

And we unconsciously look away from these painful, shocking or terrorizing experiences that have happened to us. This is partly because this deep understanding of trauma and what it actually IS is very new - it’s very cutting edge. And so...

Shed that old skin. Dance in the Metamorphosis

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I’m moving through a time of deep detox in my life. On a cellular level I can feel myself release-release-releasing so much of the old skin. And it’s a complete internal process - has nothing to do with what’s outside of me in the physical sense.

If I’m honest I’ve definitely tried to manufacture metamorphosis in my before life by pushing things away in my outer world. People, places, things. But it never works does it?

No - this time - like the (many) other times I’ve gone through this deep and true and real spiritual cleansing - is all about my inner world. The habits, thought processes, and spiritual ties that for whatever reason are now ready to be released from me. Whenever this happens, I feel this intense clarity of vision and direction. The way becomes clearer. The sharpness of truth starts slicing away what's not so true at all.

Yes, it’s raw.
Yes, it does involve making some internal adjustments.
Yes, it definitely...

BUT I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT; Do we need to talk about trauma in order to heal it?

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BUT I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT; Do we need to talk about trauma in order to heal it?

This article is part of the Therapeer Event Hosted by Justin LMFT

To view the articles of other contributors click here: https://www.justinlmft.com/post/therapeercontentevent1

You can listen to the audio below also.

THE NEW SCIENCE OF TRAUMA
The question of whether we need to talk about the traumatic events in our lives in order to heal them is one that is only recently emerging. In the world of therapy and life coaching, it used to be essential to “process memories”, to hash it out, to integrate our experiences by talking about them with a compassionate witness. The cliche image comes to mind of the client on the couch with kleenex talking to a figure sitting in a chair with a notepad and glasses.

Lately, however, the new science of trauma is giving us a much deeper understanding of what trauma actually IS. And with this incredible...

Episode 19 - What I Know About You

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This Week's Podcast is my open letter to all of you who have chosen this incredible healing path.

It's written to encourage, bless, and uplift you along the way.

Enjoy.

Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
E-mail Me: [email protected]

Show Transcript Below:

Episode 19 - What I Know About You

Welcome to another week of the Grow Heal Change Coaching Podcast. First of all I have to thank you all for the amazing response to last week’s episode - Body or Brain which was just amazing. I feel so blessed to part of your journey - i got lots of response and messages on Instagram and i so appreciate that so thank you so much.

Here's what others are saying about it:

"The Best Podcast Ever About the Mind Body Connection"

"I listened to Body or Brain and can I just say, wow. I am so grateful to you for putting everything together so well and making sense of this crazy ride and it's something I've always struggled to do...

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