In this episode I'm talking about a seemingly "heavy topic". I'm sharing with you the cycle of self-alienation which stems from an over-active toxic inner critic. I offer insights on the endless cycle of hating ourselves and catching ourselves in a double-bind and where this comes from. I also discuss how to become aware of this cycle happening in your own life and how to break-free. 

Email Me: [email protected]
Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 

SHOW NOTES BELOW:

Self-Alienation is a concept that I’ve been thinking about and meditating and pondering and really looking to take all my knowledge and my energetic imprinting about it and my somatic experience with it and and externalize it and really get it out into the world in a powerful way for you all because I really really have a lot of experience with it and have done SOOOO much healing deeply in my own body mind and soul around it. And I’ve been doing a lot of...

In This Week's podcast I'm talking about why it's so hard for us to see, admit, and feel our own pain as a result of family dysfunction and childhood trauma and offer a different perspective on pain. 

Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email Me: [email protected]

Show Notes:
What I notice so often that trips people up, is that they don’t want to acknowledge and provide grace and space to their pain.

They don’t want to feel their pain. They make themselves wrong for feeling it. They torture themselves for feeling it. And often this judgement and ridicule that we give to ourselves for being in pain as a result of our pathological families and childhood trauma and adverse childhood experiences  is a result of the judgement and ridicule that our parents fed us when we tried to be emotionally honest with them.

When we expressed our pain.
When we asked for our needs to be met.
When we cried.

They may have said things like: “I’ll give...

In today's podcast, my client Valerie Martinez of Valerie's Revival joins me to talk about some of the work we did together in coaching, her experience cultivating grounded spirituality, the effects of trauma on physical health, perfectionism, living authentically and so much more. 

You can find Valerie on instagram at:
https://www.instagram.com/valerierevival/ 
and https://www.instagram.com/valerierevivalpodcast/ 

Valerie's Website is: https://www.valerierevival.com/ 

Email me: [email protected]
Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 

Let’s talk enmeshment.
If you know, you know. 

When you grow up in a pathological home one of the most painful and terrorizing realizations is the realization that you have been parentified - made into the emotional parent of your home. Taking on responsibility that was never yours. And all the while, without you even noticing your every need went ignored and even punished. 

The emotionally immature parent hates to see the reflection of their inability. And so, they will often emotionally punish if you show how their abuse has taken its toll on you. 

Instead of seeing YOU and meeting your emotional needs, your parent made you responsible for meeting theirs. 

In abusive, pathological homes - the caregivers/parents are emotionally immature. They struggle to see their kiddos as beings in need of selfless love and care. Their kids trigger their own subconscious imprinting of shame, neediness, and trauma. And, being incapable/unwilling of...

You’re not the pressure and internal dialogue inside your head. 

You’re not in the past. And... You’re not destined to eat only the crumbs and scraps of life.

EVEN if that’s what your childhood experience was like. 

The imprints of trauma = get through the day, the hour. SURVIVE. 

This is why most who grew up in pathological families have a thought/emotion loop that runs something like this:

“There’s not enough time.”
“There’s not enough money.”
“There’s not enough energy”

The system is churning as if we were still living in the danger and threat of abusive neglectful families. 

And as this churn continues, we end up pushing away, running away from, or avoiding what we truly WANT, what we truly DESIRE and LONG for out of life. 

We never experienced the safety of more than enough and so we believe it will never be safe to experience it.  

But the...

Take trauma off it’s pedestal baby. 

Stop worshipping it. 

Trauma is part of the human experience. EVERYONE will experience at some point. 

It’s terrifying, awful, and scary - but you know what is more awe-inspiring and powerful than trauma?

The HUMAN SPIRIT.

Specifically - YOUR human spirit!  

Your body is designed to help you get through THE WORST. 

So many of the natural human experiences are inherently traumatic.

Birth and death being two of the mains. 

Trauma simply means too much, too soon, too fast. Something that took over your life energy and harnessed it to simply get you through it. TO SURVIVE it. Your body was made to HELP you survive it.

Those of us who experienced that at the hands of parents/caregivers? Sure - we went through the tough shit at very young ages. It was hard. It was scary. It was terrifying. And it was tragic. 

But you were actually MADE to overcome...

Whose responsibility is it to bear the weight of your life? 

We're getting philosophical in this episode to discuss one of the most important universal laws and its application to healing and transforming your life from the ground up.

Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email me: [email protected]

Oftentimes, I feel like a weak little girl.
And then I resist, and defend against the archetype of the small abused girl who just needed a mom.
And in my thrashing against her, she takes hold.
Chokes out my power.
And makes sure that I see. That I remember… she is me.

But she is only part of me.
It is in my resistance to her presence that I find myself at her beck and call on either side of the spectrum (resistant, defensive and rigid OR small and frail and unable to direct the flow of my own life).

The shadows take hold when we refuse to acknowledge their presence.

She is only part of me - she is neither bad nor good. Simply a neutral part of my emotional, physical and spiritual body which demands to be explored and most importantly… integrated. We all carry with us these fragile frail parts. And the first instinct is always to resist.

The stable, powerful adult woman seemingly has no need/time/energy to open the door to the fragile, unprocessed pieces of distant...

I wonder why you’re here…

Here with me… letting me invade your social media feed or your email inbox with all this stuff about healing, and creating the life you desire… 
Listening to the ramblings from my heart. 

Reading… watching…

I say that I wonder - but I think I actually know.

You’re not necessarily here for me… sure you like me (at least I hope you like me since you’re reading my stuff! LOL) … but it’s not really about that is it?

What it’s really about is you. 

If you’re reading this… if you’re my client or you just enjoy my writing and my general situation…. I think you recognize that what’s coming out of me, what I'm writing about, what I’m teaching about and what I truly believe in at my core… I think you recognize yourself in there (CAUGHT YA!)

There’s something in me… that is reflecting back to you… what  is...