Oh the pressure.
The relentless pressure.
To do it "right", to have a life that looks good, to have a better body, to be a better wife and mother, to be successful, to be nice, to be good to quit the bad habits.
Where does it all come from? Where did this demon arise?
Is it society's fault? Is it our parent's fault?
Well, actually, this pressure is SELF-GENERATED. And... it's something we are choosing.
The relentless pressure we experience is, in fact, traumatic. Of course, we may have learned this as a coping mechanism. As a way to control our lives that felt completely out of control at some point in time. I used pressure to succeed as a way to distract myself from inner-emptiness.
The gaping hole of invalidation, abuse, and neglect.
I still catch myself taking another hit of pressure from time to time. Snorting the adrenaline rush of putting an intense amount of pressure on myself until I crash and burn and in the wreckage realize that I am...