I’ll tell you an important secret to making lasting, deep change. The kind of change required to really shake up your identity and call new experiences into your life that you ACTUALLY want.
You have to separate your self-worth from what it is that you’re doing. You cannot link the two together.
First, you accept that you are 100% loveable and worthy and that you are whole as you are. AND THEN… you set about achieving what you desire (healing, emotional health, weight loss, new relationships).
You’re not healing because it will make you worthy.
You’re not losing weight to make you more worthy.
You’re not getting a new job or starting a business because it will make you worthy. You’re not meditating because it will make you more worthy.
You’re not going to yoga and lifting weights because it will make you more worthy.
You're not working on your communication skills because it will make you more worthy.
You're not getting...
When I reflect on the years I have spent at war with myself, at war with what is, my heart swells. I look at myself from a higher plane and send compassion down to those pits of hell. I would be lying if I said I don’t experience that war anymore. It’s just that now, after making healing my life’s work, I can see it sooner. I can see that it is a choice. And, I can see that it’s not the choice I want to make for my life. And I can let go - again.
It felt like I carried the wounds of 10,000 women as a child. Generations of abuse. My mother’s harsh words, her gaze, her experiences carried within her, were transferred to me. Because she didn’t want them. And so my heart broke every single day as a child, and as an adolescent, and then as a young adult - because I believed her. I believed that I was nothing. That I was lazy. That I wasn’t good enough. That I was too sensitive. Projections, fears. The off-loading of shame.
When I speak to...
High - Functioning Depression Podcast
What is high-functioning depression?
High-functioning depression is essentially when you are a high-functioning person who is depressed. So you have a life that looks good, and feels good some or most of the time but inside you feel completely depressed and you even have the symptoms of depression.
Pushing your life forward despite feeling disconnected, exhausted, and heavy
Well I suppose now is as good a time as any to have a conversation about high-functioning depression.
High-Functioning depression, is basically pushing a boulder uphill while doing all the life things. Life feels exhausting and hard and draining. And there is a major internal pressure to put on a happy face.
People who experience high-functioning depression have learned to slap a smile on and grind through life. But not the good kind of "boss-babe" business grind that feels empowering and satisfying. More like grinding right through you until you're raw and there's nothing left but bone (figuratively speaking). Lots of self-loathing. Lots of self-shaming. Usually there's some serious people-pleasing thrown into the mix and working REALLY hard to make sure NO ONE knows that there's an empty black void which you fear will never truly be filled within you.
The alarm clock rings... you push past the heavy frozen feeling, slap your make-up on and go FORWARD....