That Distinct Feeling in my Chest - Under the Shadow of His Wings

That Distinct Feeling of being Under the Shadow of His Wings…


I shared with someone yesterday about this very distinct feeling that is old and yet new to me at the same time.


It is the feeling of being under submission to God, and sealed by Him. It is a sense of his protection and covering. The felt-sense of a shield around me. 


As a child I felt this distinctly… a sense that there was something different about me. A vulnerability in my chest. That feeling was wrapped up in the extreme trauma that was my household filled with chaos, abuse and dysfunction.  And it was made complicated by the fact that I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to be normal. I didn’t like the feeling. I wanted to thrash out of it when I was around other people. 


Since my salvation last year that vulnerability in my chest has returned. The sense of being different. But what I have realized is that this is the soft, fleshy heart the Lord gave me in my salvation.


This is the seal of the Holy Spirit that the Lord has given me. 


It is a sense that I am weak and He is strong and the feeling of the strength of His Hand protecting me. 


Submission to God means that you walk in His word and in His ways. His ways are higher than our ways, meaning that we can’t always understand them, and they also are different than what others are doing. So it takes faith to live by them. 


Your life takes on a different quality a different tone, a different felt-sense because you are walking by faith and not by sight. 


I can remember the beautiful Christian homes I went to as a kid where the family was living by the Word and walking by faith. 


There is a river of peace that runs through those homes. It is tangible. It’s the same feeling I feel now when I go to my home group at church. 


When I pray, worship the Lord and read the Word in our house, I have a sense of that river flowing through our home. 


Back to that feeling as a kid of being separate and distinct. That vulnerability in my chest…


Through the chaos and dysfunction in my home as a child I wasn’t able to discern that feeling was Gods hand upon my life. His protection.


The Bible says that the angel of the Lord camps around those who fear Him.


Heavens forces come together to protect those who walk with the Lord. 


I remember seeking the Lord in my room for hours- my only solace from my mothers constant rage and chaos. His presence falling upon me like rain and even having a calming affect on my mothers personality. 


I can remember reading the Word and eating it like food - not realizing that it was fortifying my neuroplasticity and nervous system. It was maintaining my sanity.


I had a desire to be seen by the world. To be normal like others.


But you know - the truth is? He had marked me as a little one. He had placed His seal upon me and set me apart for Himself. And even when I wandered He was at work to bring me home. 


When I lived for myself and for success and for the world - I didn’t have that distinct feeling, that vulnerability in my chest. My heart had grown hard. The Lord allowed me to go and explore to feel what life is like without that seal.


But now - He graciously saved me. He swooped me up - seemingly out of nowhere and brought me back under His protection and each day He teaches me more and more how to walk in His ways. 


I feel that river of peace running through my life. 


I feel that softness- that vulnerability in my chest. 


I feel the power of Gods protection shining through my weakness. 


Here is the thing about God - with Him, power comes through obedience to His word and His way. The power of the Holy Spirit is a power that is displayed through broken vessels - people just like any other person who have chosen to come under the way of God and live by faith. 


The sacrifices of living Gods way seem hard at first. But the exchange is the peace, power, and abiding protection that comes from living under the shadow of His wings. 


Now, when I feel that distinct feeling in my chest, I am flooded with gratitude. It is the soft heart gifted to my by the Lord. It is His protection on me. It is my reminder that I am weak - but He is strong. 


And it is the benefit of waking by faith. 


Psalm 91:1-4

    He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

        will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 

    I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,

        my God, in whom I trust.”


    For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler

        and from the deadly pestilence. 

    He will cover you with his pinions,

        and under his wings you will find refuge;

        his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.


    You will not fear the terror of the night,

        nor the arrow that flies by day, 

    nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,

        nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.


    A thousand may fall at your side,

        ten thousand at your right hand,

        but it will not come near you. 

   You will only look with your eyes

        and see the recompense of the wicked.


    Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place—

        the Most High, who is my refuge—

    no evil shall be allowed to befall you,

        no plague come near your tent.


    For he will command his angels concerning you

        to guard you in all your ways. 

    On their hands they will bear you up,

        lest you strike your foot against a stone. 

    You will tread on the lion and the adder;

        the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.


    “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;

        I will protect him, because he knows my name. 

    When he calls to me, I will answer him;

        I will be with him in trouble;

        I will rescue him and honor him.


 With long life I will satisfy him

        and show him my salvation.”



PS - 


In the Faithful Trauma Recovery Institute, we are walking in Gods ways, on His terms, by His book. Why? Because that is where His protection and His covering are found. This institute is for those who are tired of the never ending roller coaster of healing the worlds way, and have come to a place of deep surrender and submission to the Lord. 


You want your coaching practice to be grounded completely on Him. 


His Word offers healing that cannot be found in the world. The healing of the innermost being. 


This is an institute for those who trust that walking in His word will establish you and make you secure in Him. 


We are going to look at the role of sanctification in healing from trauma and the power of Gods word to reset and re-align the heart. 


We are going to look at how he designed the brain and nervous system and practical tools to support your brain and nervous system to recover from dysregulation and low stress tolerance if you’ve dealt with trauma in your past. 


All the tools, frameworks and methodologies are grounded in Gods truth. Because His truth is the only truth. 


You will gain tools for your professional journey so you can your clients through a process that is grounded in the Word, with a deep understanding of trauma in the life of the believer. 


You will also experience a deeper understanding of the philosophical and spiritual truth in the Word that will transform your personal healing journey. 



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