3 Things You Need to Know About Attachment

Uncategorized Jul 07, 2023


Number 1

Attachment is more than a behaviour style - it is LIFE & SURVIVAL. As in - Your attachment patterns are your life patterns.

This is the biggest misconception about attachment - that we can narrow it down to a few different behavior styles.

Sure - that is part of it. The styles are helpful as a beginning tool of identifying our type and the type of those we love. And getting some understanding about our behaviors and patterns.

But then what? Work really hard at changing those patterns through mindset?

Attachment is literally LIFE itself. It starts when you are in the womb, where you are attached to your mother for your survival. And then when you come out of the womb, you need your mother’s body for regulation.

You don’t even know your body is separate from your mothers at this point - your mother’s body is your lifeline - the rhythm of her heart. Her smell. It's all you know.

🌹When you cry she comes
🌹When you are too hot she cools you down
🌹When you are uncomfortable - she soothes you
She keeps you alive.

And when that process works well, your nervous system has a biology of trust, security and safety.

That is attachment. It’s the basis of everything and it is more about the body than the mind or the emotions.

It’s body over behaviour…


Through attachment your nervous system becomes your parents/caregivers nervous system

Remember: you rely completely on your mother’s body for survival for the first 9 months of your life and then for at least 6 months when you come out of the womb.

And you just build on that as you grow up.

Because when we are young our nervous systems are not developed - they are new and they only have two settings (high sympathetic and the dorsal low parasympathetic).

Through our relationship with our caregivers, we develop the ability to feel safe in the world, to express ourselves and to be who we truly are. Or not.

Either way we are borrowing our caregivers nervous systems without even consciously being aware of it.

And unless we do the work to unravel these patterns and access the life energy of our bodies, we will repeat the same old patterns and stories no matter how hard we work on it at the mental level.

It’s a hard truth - but it’s a powerful truth when you realize that your nervous system can adapt and change at any age.


Your attachment patterns are expressed through your body (muscle tone, energy levels, bracing patterns in the neck and shoulders, the freeze response)

So in number 1 I said that it’s body over behaviour and that the behaviours of your attachment style are just the tip of the iceberg.

Regardless of the specific style - what you will find when it comes to insecure attachment is that the core nervous system patterns are very, VERY similar.

They will always involve: chronic freeze, stored survival stress and the high-sympathetic response.

Here’s what’s amazing about that.

When you work with the nervous system - you are working with the attachment pattern itself not just the thoughts and feelings about the pattern.

That means you are tracking the attachment patterns through the body and following them through to find what the body itself wants to do to complete old stored stress.

And then, your attachment naturally becomes secure because your nervous system is regulated at baseline.

No more trying to white-knuckle behaviour changes. It naturally flows out of you.

That is the power of your nervous system!


Inside The School of Embodied Healing Systems - you are going to experience your own attachment patterns at the body level!

Because that’s how we rewire this stuff - we gotta FEEL it through the system.

And what’s amazing about this? When you work with this stuff in your own system - you will be equipped to do this work with your clients.

Remember attachment is LIFE - our attachment patterns are our life patterns. So whether you coach clients in business, relationships, food, sex or any niche - attachment patterns are in the room. And they are often the biggest hidden obstacle.

Inside EHS, you’ll know the science of attachment, and the EXPERIENCE of resolving attachment insecurity at the root level.

Apply now and claim your place inside The School of Embodied Healing Systems.

The place for deeper, smarter, more switched on practitioners who desire deep human connection, overflowing prosperity and miracles in life and business.

The place for you!


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