What I'm Worried About...

Wanna know what I'm worried about?
Well for one... I'm nervous to write this email to you and press send. But at the same time... I want you to know me, so here goes...
I’m scared that my message, my experience, my story is just too much. I’m scared my real shit... like the REAL how-to of transformation that I took... the path I ACTUALLY followed and still follow now ... is way too R-rated, spiritual and just “out-there” for you to understand.
I’m scared to expose the truth of ME like that. It's like standing naked in the street.
The truth of what I ACTUALLY believe. I catch myself censoring myself... being scared and worried about what you'll think of me. Scared you'll think I'm too harsh and crazy and intense...
Like sure - my private clients know... I’m cool to share that in that intimate setting because I know it's what works and I know it will get them results so I can't NOT share all that soul-truth with them...
But when I’m out here in the no-mans-land of the World Wide Web.... the wild Wild West... the WIDE OPEN SPACE OF THE INTERNET...
I’m scared that you all just want to hear what goes down smooth and easy. That you want a palatable and pleasing life coach...
I’m scared you’re not ready for my message.
The realness and rawness of what it takes to truly transform on every level constantly and to live your life in that place. The raw, real, messy, harshness of facing your demons. The gnarly shit.
I’m terrified that you don’t actually WANT to heal. I’m scared you just want to scroll Instagram and Facebook without actually taking the work deeper.
Because that’s what it takes To make a life of healing and constant elevating and evolving in every single way - is taking the work deeper.
I’m scared that it’s all too broad - what I say, and how I deliver my message.... that it’s not specific and step by step and bullet-proofy enough to make sense to anyone but me.
I’m scared I’m too loud, too crazy, too wild and just in general too much for people to digest.
I’m scared I’m just to aggressive and ambitious - too driven and focused on success... maybe I should be more placid and quiet. More “like everyone else”
And what’s worse?
I’m scared you don’t have what it takes
I’m scared you’re just not quite ready.
I’m scared that I am the only one that any of this works for or applies to.
BUTTTT... I also know... if I allowed that fear to rule me?
Well first of all I’d be believing bullshit lol.
If I really gave into all that fear and ego? I wouldn’t be where I am. And you wouldn’t be here listening, reading, watching, changing, transforming.
But also? Also.... I’d be selling myself short and I’d be selling YOU short as well. I'd be wallowing in fear and censoring myself and trying hard to be like someone else... and that is something I just cannot do.
If I BELIEVED those fears as true and real I would never show up online teaching and preaching about this crazy healing stuff. I wouldn’t be ranting on about personal power and your ability to transform.
If I BELIEVED my big ego about how I’M the only one in the world who can change (like seriously - how ridiculous lol), who “gets” it, who is spiritual and conscious and dedicated to speaking my truth and willing and relentless and ruthless about my life....
If I really believed that I'd be keeping myself in a prison of my own making.
Because I know... I JUST KNOWWWW that it's NOT FUCKING TRUE!
Instead I choose to believe the deeper truth. The soul inspired truth that I’m just a messenger. That my story has meaning - and not just for me. I choose to believe that you DO want to heal. that you ARE ready to do the work. That you DO take the work deeper, that you apply the work. That it changes your life.
I choose to believe you are ready for major power and change in your life.
I choose to believe that you are tired of allowing your past to crush you under it's weight and that you are ready to find the strength within you not only to heal from past trauma but to create something amazing in this world.
I choose to hold love in my heart for you . And not just that... I choose to feel respect and admiration. Because I KNOW that if you're reading this - that you are like me. I choose to believe that our souls know each other already.
I choose to believe... and in fact... I know for SURE that you can do this. That you can move forward no matter what place you're in now. No matter how many times you've been abandoned or abandoned yourself.
I choose to see your power, and your courage. And I choose to speak to that when I rant and rave online about healing from even the worst kind of trauma and family dysfunction. Because I KNOW it's there. I KNOW it's within you.
I know that you can handle this. I know that if you're here, you can handle me too. And all my fears and worries. And all MY self-doubt. And all my ego stories. And all my passion and love. And all my ambition and aggression.
And... I can handle yours too.
Continue Forward in Healing,

PS... If you've read all the way down to this point- I see you. I see your pain and your soul and your absolute hunger to make something of your life, to heal from family cycles of dysfunction/neglect/abuse and change generational patterns. I see your ambition - that part of you who always knew you would rise above the trauma and pain.
I see you and I would love to invite you into my new 3 month Healing & Regeneration 1-1 coaching program.
It’s not that you don’t know what to do… it’s that the conditioning, the neglect, the abuse, even the stuff floating around in the collective, whatever other experiences you’ve had in your life have taught you to abandon yourself. And we are here to release, heal and regenerate.
It’s time to courageously take the road less travelled and walk in the light - home to yourself. Where you will find an infinite well of wisdom that is ONLY available within you.
In this 3 months time together your passion will regenerate, your system will heal, and you will begin to feel the spark of your own fire once again (or, even, for the first time).
As you open your heart, and your body to deeper layers of your own self - you will arrive at a sense of home-ness and clarity that can ONLY be found when you make your way back to yourself and begin living your life from that place.
Reply to this email [email protected] or message me here on Facebook or on Instagram (@growhealchange) to learn more about working with me, 1-1, for 3 months.

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