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Perfectionism, Healing and the Purity of our WORK

Unhealthy Perfectionism can be a form of self-abandonment and self-neglect.

When we get lost in the work as a way to numb ourselves, distract ourselves, or avoid emotional/relational areas of our lives that need tending to - we are being seduced by unhealthy perfectionism. 

As high-performers, we can find comfort in knowing we are productive, successful and amazing at the work we do. But when it becomes a way to escape our own emotional world, perfectionism can be a sign of deep shame. When it begins to affect our performance because we are in internal agony over the quality of the work - whether it is good enough, and when we feel the work is a reflection of who we are at our core (therefore if it is good we are good, and if it is bad we are bad) this is when we begin playing with fire. 

I’m not here to hate on perfectionism - I think it can be good/healthy in certain areas. You know, we want a surgeon to be perfectionist, we want artists to some degree to be...

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[PODCAST] Episode 31 - Toxic Shame - Shining a Light in the Darkness

In this episode, I'm talking about toxic shame. What it is, where it comes from, its connection to codependency & poor boundaries, and how to start shining a light on the darkness of shame in your life. 

Get the accompanying worksheet in the free facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/525326287969708

Email me: grow@growhealchange.org

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme

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Rupture & Repair - You Need to Understand this to Break Toxic Patterns After A Traumatic Childhood


Rupture and Repair is a concept I first discovered from Dr. Allan Schore's work a few years ago. 

It is a framework for understanding resiliency (the ability to come back from difficult situations personally and in relationships with others) and how empathy acts as a foundational component of life and health. 

When we understand the concept of rupture and repair - we start to understand trauma and it's deeper impact on life and work. All relationships will have ruptures.  The ruptures themselves are not even what causes trauma... it is a rupture without repair which causes trauma. 

In dysfunctional families - most or all (depending on the distance of the caregivers) ruptures go un-repaired. This impacts the brain functioning, physical and biological health, and emotional health of the child and causes the child to live in a state of "FRAGMENTATION" - a fancy way of saying that children who live in unsafe childhood homes essentially live separated from themselves and...

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What I'm Worried About...

Wanna know what I'm worried about?
Well for one... I'm nervous to write this email to you and press send. But at the same time... I want you to know me, so here goes...
I’m scared that my message, my experience, my story is just too much. I’m scared my real shit... like the REAL how-to of transformation that I took... the path I ACTUALLY followed and still follow now ... is way too R-rated, spiritual and just “out-there” for you to understand.
I’m scared to expose the truth of ME like that. It's like standing naked in the street.
The truth of what I ACTUALLY believe. I catch myself censoring myself... being scared and worried about what you'll think of me. Scared you'll think I'm too harsh and crazy and intense...
Like sure - my private clients know... I’m cool to share that in that intimate setting because I know it's what works and I know it will get them results so I can't NOT share all that soul-truth with them...
But when I’m out here...
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I Move and I Cry and I Scream...

I wade

I wade in these waters and I dance

Until everything is unraveled

And all is revealed.

And I move and I cry and I scream

And I know for sure

That I am here.

I open my eyes again and again to the sun

After all those years of pain

I see again - my big huge life

That I created from the ashes.

And I teach what I have learned.

A family is more than people who live in the same house.

You can come home to your body.

You are the sun and the moon and the stars.

You mean something.

You have the birthright to exist because you are here

And that is enough.

No one speaks for you.

You speak for your own self - you have the power to do it.

You have the power.

And I go back to my own heart.

To my own well.

And I allow it to run deep and deep and deeper still

And make no apologies

For what emerges from that place.

For what decides to open up.

Instead I be there. I be there. I be there with it.

I am there.

I am here.

I am here.

After everything.

Written by Yours Truly, 
Shyla Cash...

 ...

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Episode 21 - Functional Healing

In this episode I am peeling back the curtain on what I REALLY believe about healing from trauma using my concept of functional healing.

Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme

Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org

Episode 21 - Functional Healing

 


SHOW TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
Hello Hello Hello how is everyone! I’m a little nervous about today’s episode because I’m going to be really really honest with you about my beliefs and my opinions on healing from trauma and I know it may rub up against some of you and it may feel like i’m being harsh or rude. But that is not at all my intent. I really believe that healing is my life’s work and I am so passionate about healing trauma and about healing as a global community so my ask of you if you should continue listening to this episode is that you take it in with some openness - doesn’t mean you have to agree. You are you and I am me and we won’t always agree. But I believe that if you can...

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Functional Healing - Live Your Life & Heal at the Same Time

In this video, I'm talking about a concept called "Functional Healing".

Functional Healing is my belief that life doesn't have to stop in order for you to heal and make powerful change. You can build healing into your lifestyle and see improvements in emotional regulation, performance, and behaviour as you go. 



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Episode 19 - What I Know About You

This Week's Podcast is my open letter to all of you who have chosen this incredible healing path. 

It's written to encourage, bless, and uplift you along the way. 

Enjoy. 

Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
E-mail Me: grow@growhealchange.org

 

Show Transcript Below: 

Episode 19 - What I Know About You

Welcome to another week of the Grow Heal Change Coaching Podcast. First of all I have to thank you all for the amazing response to last week’s episode - Body or Brain which was just amazing. I feel so blessed to part of your journey - i got lots of response and messages on Instagram and i so appreciate that so thank you so much.

Here's what others are saying about it: 

"The Best Podcast Ever About the Mind Body Connection" 

 

"I listened to Body or Brain and can I just say, wow. I am so grateful to you for putting everything together so well and making sense of this crazy ride and it's something I've always struggled to do...

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Episode 18 - Body or Brain

 

 

In this episode we're talking about trauma healing. 

What's more important in the healing process? Our body, or our thoughts? Listen to this episode to learn about the body's physical responses to trauma, and the role of our thinking in the healing process. 

Work with me (complimentary 60 minute consult): https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme

Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org

 

SHOW TRANSCRIPT BELOW

Body, Brain, or Both?

Hello and welcome welcome welcome to another week of the Grow Heal Change Coaching Podcast - happy and blessed and grateful to be here with you all again for episode number 18 of Grow Heal Change - we are KILLING it here together. 

 

Can I ask a favour of you? If you have been listening to this podcast and following and benefitting from this work could you please so kindly leave me a review on iTunes. Those reviews will allow the podcast to be found more easily by others who are searching for this kind of work. I so...

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Emotional Health and Healing - What it Really Takes to Get There.

The Journey to Emotional Health and Healing is not for the faint of heart. But it is the most worthwhile journey we can take. It’s worth all the blood sweat and tears along the way when every moment of discomfort is on purpose - in service -  of our personal growth and deep healing. It is an honour.

One of the biggest lessons to learn is understanding that healing is a process of learning, re-learning, and un-learning. It does not just HAPPEN.

It’s learning to develop a whole new set of skills that lead to emotional intelligence requires commitment. And that commitment provides us with a better quality of life in all areas.

Emotional Health and Healing takes:

Willingness
The openness, and readiness for change. Willingness is a step beyond desire. Many of us DESIRE better emotional health. But not all of us are willing to do what it takes to get there. Are you willing to actively and intentionally pursue your healing?

Commitment 
Making a commitment to yourself -...

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