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GHC PODCAST EPISODE 48 - BUILDING RESILIENCE

In today's podcast I talk about what it means to build resilience. I talk about what it means to build emotional resilience, and some common misconceptions/myths about what resilience is. 

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 
Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org



Resilience is the ability to bounce back. Move on. Get on with your life.


Resilience is an Emotional Skill that can be built. I like to think that people who have dealt with trauma actually have tremendous capacity to build resilience because of what we have been through. And we think what we have been through disqualifies us - but I really think it qualifies us for some tremendous transcendence, leadership, spiritual gifts if you’re into that kind of thing, as well as empathy, discernment etc - listen to how you think about trauma for more on that.

What Resilience Is:
Connecting to our emotions
Moving through emotions
Managing our own internal states
Recognizing when we need support and...

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Pressure Pressure Rush Rush

Pressure, pressure pressure.
Rush rush rush.
 
Did you ever stop to ask what it is you’re rushing toward?
What it is that you’re in such a hurry for…?
 
Did you forget that healing happens one step at a time darling?
Life happens one moment at a time.
One choice at a time.
That there’s no magical destination. There never was.
You’re actually worthy now.
In this moment.
 
There’s no place you have to get to to be there.
There’s no thing you need to get over.
 
You can move through each moment as it happens.
As you are.
And be here. With yourself. With life. With God. With the universe.
 
And whatever exists in this moment is what is.
No pressure.
No rushing.
Just here. Now.
 
A little acceptance never hurt nobody.
Whatever life to be lived is to be lived now.
You don’t have to be perfect to be here.
You can just be here.
 
PS...
If you can't get out of the pressure-pushing-rushing pain of...
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PODCAST EPISODE 47 - The Gift Of Your Pain

In This Week's podcast I'm talking about why it's so hard for us to see, admit, and feel our own pain as a result of family dysfunction and childhood trauma and offer a different perspective on pain. 

Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org

Show Notes:
What I notice so often that trips people up, is that they don’t want to acknowledge and provide grace and space to their pain.

They don’t want to feel their pain. They make themselves wrong for feeling it. They torture themselves for feeling it. And often this judgement and ridicule that we give to ourselves for being in pain as a result of our pathological families and childhood trauma and adverse childhood experiences  is a result of the judgement and ridicule that our parents fed us when we tried to be emotionally honest with them.

When we expressed our pain.
When we asked for our needs to be met.
When we cried.

They may have said things like: “I’ll give...

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[GHC PODCAST - EPISODE 45] Perfectionism, Spirituality & Self Trust with Valerie Martinez

In today's podcast, my client Valerie Martinez of Valerie's Revival joins me to talk about some of the work we did together in coaching, her experience cultivating grounded spirituality, the effects of trauma on physical health, perfectionism, living authentically and so much more. 

You can find Valerie on instagram at:
https://www.instagram.com/valerierevival/ 
and https://www.instagram.com/valerierevivalpodcast/ 

Valerie's Website is: https://www.valerierevival.com/ 

Email me: grow@growhealchange.org
Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 

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[GHC PODCAST - EPISODE 44] - How You Think About Trauma

How you think about trauma determines whether you will heal or not. I'm sharing with you some of the most common ineffective thoughts about trauma, and some alternative ways to think about it. 

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 
Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org

 

 

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Do you feel like a weak and frail little girl, vulnerable to the world?

Oftentimes, I feel like a weak little girl.
And then I resist, and defend against the archetype of the small abused girl who just needed a mom.
And in my thrashing against her, she takes hold.
Chokes out my power.
And makes sure that I see. That I remember… she is me.

But she is only part of me.
It is in my resistance to her presence that I find myself at her beck and call on either side of the spectrum (resistant, defensive and rigid OR small and frail and unable to direct the flow of my own life).

The shadows take hold when we refuse to acknowledge their presence.

She is only part of me - she is neither bad nor good. Simply a neutral part of my emotional, physical and spiritual body which demands to be explored and most importantly… integrated. We all carry with us these fragile frail parts. And the first instinct is always to resist.

The stable, powerful adult woman seemingly has no need/time/energy to open the door to the fragile, unprocessed pieces of distant...

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There's What Happened and There's Who You Are

There’s what happened… and then there’s who you ARE…

It’s hard to separate the two. What happened. The circumstance. The object. The swirling of life around you. And the past events that shaped who you are. Versus YOU - who you are, what you VALUE, yourSELF, your CORE, your POWER.

Life pushes fast fast faster against you and everything has a sense of constriction. Constraint. Pressure. Before long we’re going through motions that we never meant to go through. Living from a paradigm we did not choose.

I find nothing more terrifying than when I notice that I’ve confused what’s happening or what happened with myself - my values - and my power. I coast along complaining about how hard it all is until life and God grant me a reality check that slaps me in the face and wakes me up from the daily slumber of pity.

The deeper truth is that nothing that is happening outside of me, and even nothing that happened to me IS me. I am not my job or...

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Why Are You Here?

I wonder why you’re here…

Here with me… letting me invade your social media feed or your email inbox with all this stuff about healing, and creating the life you desire… 
Listening to the ramblings from my heart. 

Reading… watching…

I say that I wonder - but I think I actually know.

You’re not necessarily here for me… sure you like me (at least I hope you like me since you’re reading my stuff! LOL) … but it’s not really about that is it?

What it’s really about is you. 

If you’re reading this… if you’re my client or you just enjoy my writing and my general situation…. I think you recognize that what’s coming out of me, what I'm writing about, what I’m teaching about and what I truly believe in at my core… I think you recognize yourself in there (CAUGHT YA!)

There’s something in me… that is reflecting back to you… what  is...

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Childhood Trauma & (REAL) Spiritual Power

To me, there is absolutely no recovery from childhood abuse and neglect and trauma without spiritual power. They simply co-exist together. Because everything is everything - the body, the spirit, the psyche, the emotional body… everything IS everything.

Ya.. but WHAT IS spiritual power EXACTLY?

Well… it’s the thing that carried you through the horrors you survived-  for one.
But also, it’s the thing that is ACTUALLY going to move your life forward beyond survival and into abundance, joy and most importantly receiving love.
And I’m not talking about the soggy weak spirituality of fake love and light which pretends everything is okay behind glossy dissociated eyes. 

 

I’m talking about the spiritual power that comes from integrating the WHOLE thing. From your head down to your toes, and from your toes back up to your head. Because spirituality without connection to the body is the kind of spirituality that actually perpetuates the...

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Let yourself FEEL the cells, the skin, the blood flowing to your heart, the breath flowing to your lungs. THIS is life darling. THIS is life. And it’s okay.

I cried while I was running today. When I first started seriously working out (swimming twice per day), I was on the cusp of some major breakthroughs in my life and I swam twice a day to cope with what I was losing (a codependent relationship, some unhealthy friendships, my own irresponsibility tendencies and emotional leeching). I didn’t know it then, but I was running from myself. It happened to be a rather healthy way to “escape” - or at least it seemed to be for me at the time. This was before I knew what I know now about nervous system healing, emotional scaffolding, titration, and the physiological survival response of trauma. I was doing what I could with what I had. I was trying to hold onto my core - or find my core self. Find my independence after being enmeshed with unhealthy parents and carrying that forward into my life as an adult with friendship and intimate relationship dynamics that mirrored the trauma bonds of my upbringing.

What I started...

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