In This Week's podcast I'm talking about why it's so hard for us to see, admit, and feel our own pain as a result of family dysfunction and childhood trauma and offer a different perspective on pain.
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What I notice so often that trips people up, is that they don’t want to acknowledge and provide grace and space to their pain.
They don’t want to feel their pain. They make themselves wrong for feeling it. They torture themselves for feeling it. And often this judgement and ridicule that we give to ourselves for being in pain as a result of our pathological families and childhood trauma and adverse childhood experiences is a result of the judgement and ridicule that our parents fed us when we tried to be emotionally honest with them.
When we expressed our pain.
When we asked for our needs to be met.
When we cried.
They may have said things like: “I’ll give...
When we find ourselves approaching healing from a deep sense of unworthiness, we can start to feel like we must know everything about healing and consume all the info we can. But this comes from a deep sense of inadequacy that is subtle but insidious.
In this episode, I'm helping you breathe a sigh of relief. You don't have to do it perfectly and you don't have to know everything to heal from trauma. You are worthy. It's not about the outside-in, but about the inside out.
Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email: [email protected]
Unhealthy Perfectionism can be a form of self-abandonment and self-neglect.
When we get lost in the work as a way to numb ourselves, distract ourselves, or avoid emotional/relational areas of our lives that need tending to - we are being seduced by unhealthy perfectionism.
As high-performers, we can find comfort in knowing we are productive, successful and amazing at the work we do. But when it becomes a way to escape our own emotional world, perfectionism can be a sign of deep shame. When it begins to affect our performance because we are in internal agony over the quality of the work - whether it is good enough, and when we feel the work is a reflection of who we are at our core (therefore if it is good we are good, and if it is bad we are bad) this is when we begin playing with fire.
I’m not here to hate on perfectionism - I think it can be good/healthy in certain areas. You know, we want a surgeon to be perfectionist, we want artists to some degree to be...