[PODCAST EPISODE 63] - Toxic Shame & Fear of Success

It's been a little over a month since I've recorded an episode and I am so happy to be back (and back with a BANG!). In this episode we're talking about toxic shame and how it relates to the fear of success in high-performers. 

Here's What's Covered:
What is Toxic Shame
Where Does it Come From
How Does Toxic Shame Show Up
My Personal Experience With Toxic Shame
Toxic Shame & Fear of Success
Toxic Shame and Internalized Rage
How to Start Healing Toxic Shame

And, at the end I share a simple prayer for support in moving through it. 

Enjoy! 

Email me: [email protected]
To Work With Me, Book Your 1-1 Consultation Here: https://calendly.com/growhealchange1 

Show Notes Below.

 

Toxic Shame & Fear of Success

Intro 

This is a deep, and sort of heavy topic. But it’s very important and it’s not really understood enough in entrepreneurial spaces and leadership and mindset  spaces. We talk about shame, but we don’t really...

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[ Podcast Episode 61 - Fear, Resistance & Control ]

In this week's episode, I'm talking about how fear, resistance and control are trauma responses. Once we become aware of this, we can begin to release the harmful imprints of living in fear, resistance and control at the level of our bodies. As we do this, we re-discover our own wholeness. 

 

 

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[GHC PODCAST - EPISODE 60] What is a Trauma Response?

In this episode I'm talking about trauma responses. 

I'm breaking down what they are, how they create a lack of health in our lives, and how we can gently change our internal state so that our trauma responses are LESS required, or not required at all. 

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/traumahealingforhighperformers 
Work With Me: www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email Me: [email protected]
Shownotes: https://www.shylacash.com/blog/ghc60

Shownotes Below:

What is a Trauma Response?

 

First, a reminder of what trauma actually is. Trauma is too much, too fast, too soon. 


Trauma is a shock to the system that has not been fully processed. 

 

That means it gets stuck inside your body, creating a state of dysregulation and a lack of health. The lack of health occurs because in a moment of shock, our normal flow of life is interrupted by the shock of the danger or threat so that the body can use all of its resources to keep you...

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4 Areas to Focus on to Create a Life of Healing, Success & Alignment - Part 2

4 Areas to Focus on for a Life of Healing, Success & Alignment - Part 2 - Your True Work

Yesterday was about the first area of focus -  Trauma Healing (read yesterday's blog here).  Now that we’ve covered the importance of making sure your roots are in a state of repair, we’re moving on to the second area - Your True Work. 

 

What’s beautiful about the process of trauma healing is that it creates safety and resilience inside of you. That means you have a felt-sense of your own ability to be safe and secure within your own body.  This balances your mental, spiritual, emotional and nervous system(s). Once that happens, you begin to unlock your own gifts and talents. When your base level state is a state of health and repair, you naturally discover your own success codes.  

Everything that you have been through and healed from  is part of you. It is inside of you and part of your story. Your brain and body, your cells and...

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Healing & Success Axis

My work is about bringing it all together. 

Deep Healing & Aligned Success are not one dimensional. 

You are a system within systems as powerful human being. 

 

Creating true freedom depends on looking at this Axis of Healing and Success. 

And being reverent and respectful of all elements of you. 

Each element doesn’t necessarily have to have equal focus, depending on where you are in your journey you may be placing specific focus on one or two… and as we become masters of our own inner sanctum, we begin to learn how to balance them, and direct focus at the right ones for us for where we are on our timeline.  

 

This modality moves beyond black and white thinking or one-size fits all and into an integrated approach.

To me, if we are talking about success, we are talking about releasing the trauma of age-old conditioning within all of our systems. They work together. And, if we are talking about trauma healing, we must...

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2021 Reading List

Just Made My Reading List for 2021
Here's the 10 books I'm reading:
_______________________
  • The Originals - Adam Grant (this is required reading in one of the masterminds I'm in with my coach)
  • Polyvagal Theory in Therapy - Deb Dana
  • In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts - Gabor Mate
  • Scattered Minds - Gabor Mate
  • Lost Connections - Johann Hari
  • The Great Work of Your Life - Stephen Cope
  • Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers - Robert M Sapolsky
  • Tao of Fully Feeling - Pete Walker
  • Behave - Robert M Sapolsky
  • The Magician's Way - William Whitecloud
__________________________
I love to re-read and study the written word.
To me, reading is a highly spiritual experience.
My mom was highly abusive - she homeschooled me - Tiger Mother to the Extreme - however, she placed high priority on reading and writing. That, combined with growing up Hardcore Christian Fundamentalist (high focus on bible reading and study) gave me a deep reverence and respect for words.

Funny how even the most brutal...
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[GHC PODCAST - EPISODE 49] Self - Alienation

 

In this episode I'm talking about a seemingly "heavy topic". I'm sharing with you the cycle of self-alienation which stems from an over-active toxic inner critic. I offer insights on the endless cycle of hating ourselves and catching ourselves in a double-bind and where this comes from. I also discuss how to become aware of this cycle happening in your own life and how to break-free. 

Email Me: [email protected]
Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 

 



SHOW NOTES BELOW:

Self-Alienation is a concept that I’ve been thinking about and meditating and pondering and really looking to take all my knowledge and my energetic imprinting about it and my somatic experience with it and and externalize it and really get it out into the world in a powerful way for you all because I really really have a lot of experience with it and have done SOOOO much healing deeply in my own body mind and soul around it. And I’ve been doing a lot of...

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I FIND MYSELF AGAIN

Usually after I practice my embodiment practice, I find that poetry flows so easily from me
As a child growing up in family dysfunction, writing was a lifeline.

Now, with years of healing and embodiment under my belt, I find that what comes out of me is the story of redemption, and holistic healing. It solidifies the integration of my story within me as a place of power where pain once held me hostage. 

The experience of family pathology and dysfunction begins before we are conscious.
It begins in our imprinting, before we can speak and often before we can remember.

Generational patterns live within us as what Dr. Peter Levine calls “procedural memories”. While we can’t access the cognitive memory, the body knows what lies beneath. It tells the story through tears, trembling, anxiety, depression and other ailments that serve as messengers.

This poem is about how I really didn’t know I had a self. I grew up fractured and traumatized by a narcissistic mother...

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Pressure Pressure Rush Rush

Pressure, pressure pressure.
Rush rush rush.
 
Did you ever stop to ask what it is you’re rushing toward?
What it is that you’re in such a hurry for…?
 
Did you forget that healing happens one step at a time darling?
Life happens one moment at a time.
One choice at a time.
That there’s no magical destination. There never was.
You’re actually worthy now.
In this moment.
 
There’s no place you have to get to to be there.
There’s no thing you need to get over.
 
You can move through each moment as it happens.
As you are.
And be here. With yourself. With life. With God. With the universe.
 
And whatever exists in this moment is what is.
No pressure.
No rushing.
Just here. Now.
 
A little acceptance never hurt nobody.
Whatever life to be lived is to be lived now.
You don’t have to be perfect to be here.
You can just be here.
 
PS...
If you can't get out of the pressure-pushing-rushing pain of...
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Do you feel like a weak and frail little girl, vulnerable to the world?

Oftentimes, I feel like a weak little girl.
And then I resist, and defend against the archetype of the small abused girl who just needed a mom.
And in my thrashing against her, she takes hold.
Chokes out my power.
And makes sure that I see. That I remember… she is me.

But she is only part of me.
It is in my resistance to her presence that I find myself at her beck and call on either side of the spectrum (resistant, defensive and rigid OR small and frail and unable to direct the flow of my own life).

The shadows take hold when we refuse to acknowledge their presence.

She is only part of me - she is neither bad nor good. Simply a neutral part of my emotional, physical and spiritual body which demands to be explored and most importantly… integrated. We all carry with us these fragile frail parts. And the first instinct is always to resist.

The stable, powerful adult woman seemingly has no need/time/energy to open the door to the fragile, unprocessed pieces of distant...

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