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GHC PODCAST EPISODE 48 - BUILDING RESILIENCE

In today's podcast I talk about what it means to build resilience. I talk about what it means to build emotional resilience, and some common misconceptions/myths about what resilience is. 

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 
Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org



Resilience is the ability to bounce back. Move on. Get on with your life.


Resilience is an Emotional Skill that can be built. I like to think that people who have dealt with trauma actually have tremendous capacity to build resilience because of what we have been through. And we think what we have been through disqualifies us - but I really think it qualifies us for some tremendous transcendence, leadership, spiritual gifts if you’re into that kind of thing, as well as empathy, discernment etc - listen to how you think about trauma for more on that.

What Resilience Is:
Connecting to our emotions
Moving through emotions
Managing our own internal states
Recognizing when we need support and...

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Pressure Pressure Rush Rush

Pressure, pressure pressure.
Rush rush rush.
 
Did you ever stop to ask what it is you’re rushing toward?
What it is that you’re in such a hurry for…?
 
Did you forget that healing happens one step at a time darling?
Life happens one moment at a time.
One choice at a time.
That there’s no magical destination. There never was.
You’re actually worthy now.
In this moment.
 
There’s no place you have to get to to be there.
There’s no thing you need to get over.
 
You can move through each moment as it happens.
As you are.
And be here. With yourself. With life. With God. With the universe.
 
And whatever exists in this moment is what is.
No pressure.
No rushing.
Just here. Now.
 
A little acceptance never hurt nobody.
Whatever life to be lived is to be lived now.
You don’t have to be perfect to be here.
You can just be here.
 
PS...
If you can't get out of the pressure-pushing-rushing pain of...
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PODCAST EPISODE 47 - The Gift Of Your Pain

In This Week's podcast I'm talking about why it's so hard for us to see, admit, and feel our own pain as a result of family dysfunction and childhood trauma and offer a different perspective on pain. 

Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org

Show Notes:
What I notice so often that trips people up, is that they don’t want to acknowledge and provide grace and space to their pain.

They don’t want to feel their pain. They make themselves wrong for feeling it. They torture themselves for feeling it. And often this judgement and ridicule that we give to ourselves for being in pain as a result of our pathological families and childhood trauma and adverse childhood experiences  is a result of the judgement and ridicule that our parents fed us when we tried to be emotionally honest with them.

When we expressed our pain.
When we asked for our needs to be met.
When we cried.

They may have said things like: “I’ll give...

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[GHC PODCAST - EPISODE 44] - How You Think About Trauma

How you think about trauma determines whether you will heal or not. I'm sharing with you some of the most common ineffective thoughts about trauma, and some alternative ways to think about it. 

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 
Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org

 

 

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ENMESHMENT

Let’s talk enmeshment.
If you know, you know. 

When you grow up in a pathological home one of the most painful and terrorizing realizations is the realization that you have been parentified - made into the emotional parent of your home. Taking on responsibility that was never yours. And all the while, without you even noticing your every need went ignored and even punished. 

The emotionally immature parent hates to see the reflection of their inability. And so, they will often emotionally punish if you show how their abuse has taken its toll on you. 

 

Instead of seeing YOU and meeting your emotional needs, your parent made you responsible for meeting theirs. 

 

In abusive, pathological homes - the caregivers/parents are emotionally immature. They struggle to see their kiddos as beings in need of selfless love and care. Their kids trigger their own subconscious imprinting of shame, neediness, and trauma. And, being incapable/unwilling of...

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It Is Safe to Have More Than Enough

 

You’re not the pressure and internal dialogue inside your head. 

You’re not in the past. And... You’re not destined to eat only the crumbs and scraps of life.

EVEN if that’s what your childhood experience was like. 

 

The imprints of trauma = get through the day, the hour. SURVIVE. 

 

This is why most who grew up in pathological families have a thought/emotion loop that runs something like this:

“There’s not enough time.”
“There’s not enough money.”
“There’s not enough energy”

The system is churning as if we were still living in the danger and threat of abusive neglectful families. 

And as this churn continues, we end up pushing away, running away from, or avoiding what we truly WANT, what we truly DESIRE and LONG for out of life. 

We never experienced the safety of more than enough and so we believe it will never be safe to experience it.  

But the...

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If I Adapted to Survive, Then I Can Adapt to Thrive.

 

Take trauma off it’s pedestal baby. 

Stop worshipping it. 

 

Trauma is part of the human experience. EVERYONE will experience at some point. 

 

It’s terrifying, awful, and scary - but you know what is more awe-inspiring and powerful than trauma?

The HUMAN SPIRIT.

Specifically - YOUR human spirit!  

 

Your body is designed to help you get through THE WORST. 

So many of the natural human experiences are inherently traumatic.

Birth and death being two of the mains. 

 

Trauma simply means too much, too soon, too fast. Something that took over your life energy and harnessed it to simply get you through it. TO SURVIVE it. Your body was made to HELP you survive it.

 

Those of us who experienced that at the hands of parents/caregivers? Sure - we went through the tough shit at very young ages. It was hard. It was scary. It was terrifying. And it was tragic. 

 

But you were actually MADE to overcome...

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[PODCAST EPISODE 43] - The Weight of Your Life

Whose responsibility is it to bear the weight of your life? 

We're getting philosophical in this episode to discuss one of the most important universal laws and its application to healing and transforming your life from the ground up.

Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email me: grow@growhealchange.org

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Do you feel like a weak and frail little girl, vulnerable to the world?

Oftentimes, I feel like a weak little girl.
And then I resist, and defend against the archetype of the small abused girl who just needed a mom.
And in my thrashing against her, she takes hold.
Chokes out my power.
And makes sure that I see. That I remember… she is me.

But she is only part of me.
It is in my resistance to her presence that I find myself at her beck and call on either side of the spectrum (resistant, defensive and rigid OR small and frail and unable to direct the flow of my own life).

The shadows take hold when we refuse to acknowledge their presence.

She is only part of me - she is neither bad nor good. Simply a neutral part of my emotional, physical and spiritual body which demands to be explored and most importantly… integrated. We all carry with us these fragile frail parts. And the first instinct is always to resist.

The stable, powerful adult woman seemingly has no need/time/energy to open the door to the fragile, unprocessed pieces of distant...

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Life, Healing, It's All About Opening

Life, Healing... It’s all about opening. 

Last night I had a surge of sadness move through my full body for seemingly “no reason”. I wept. This morning I had the same. I wept. Full body chest weeping and heart-opening. It is what it is. No resistance. No shame. No fear.

Gone are the days of resistance to what is.

Gone are the days of resisting the full body nervous system and spiritual release.
I wonder if we’ve become so sanitized to what we should be feeling and thinking that we’ve forgotten what we ARE actually feeling and thinking in this moment.
When you’re beginning the journey of healing, you’re beginning the journey of opening. And when you’re opening, at first, you don’t want to rip the thing open because what will explode out may explode you and cause you to hurriedly seal that thing back on shut and keep on going through the motions.

But as time goes on and as you grow, the opening process is much more fluid. The...
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