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Are you scared and intimidated around people you perceive as strong, powerful, smarter, or more accomplished than you?

Are you scared and intimidated around people you perceive as strong, powerful, smarter, or more accomplished than you?

I have felt this way sooooo many times

In fact it’s an area that I am CONSTANTLY working on within myself.

The little traumatized child in me wants to quiver and shake and fawn because that’s what I did as a little one to survive in my home around a mom who couldn’t handle the threat of someone’s light shining in her presence.

Thankfully after stumbling around in the beginning, I’ve managed to find some footing here.

What most of us do is feel weak and small and contemptuous - and then jealous - and then angry at ourselves and then feel like we shouldn’t feel that way and try and puff our chests to seem like we’re really not that vulnerable. I’ve done that a lot in my life.

And then? We think it’s so disgusting that we could allow ourselves to feel that way AGAIN after a childhood of making ourselves smaller - we...

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PODCAST EPISODE 43 - The Crappy Childhood Fairy


This week I'm joined by the wonderful Anna Runkle, also known as The Crappy Childhood Fairy. She, like me, grew up in a dysfunctional home and now teaches her clients how to recover. 

We discuss many common themes of trauma recovery, some personal stories, and Anna shares a little bit about her signature Daily Practice which is a tool to help regulate the brain that is being hijacked by trauma and dysregulation. 

Watch Anna on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCZlDCbFTqHkzV_rUP4V5bg/videos 

Check out Anna's website here: https://crappychildhoodfairy.com/

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme

Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org

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Podcast Episode - 42 Trauma Is Not A Dirty Word

 

Does acknowledging trauma mean that we are playing a victim? 
Is saying that you were traumatized as a child being TOO dramatic? 
How can we take personal responsibility for our healing if we are wallowing in victimhood? 

In this episode I'm helping you understand that trauma is NOT a dirty word. Everyone experiences trauma in life in some way. I'm helping you understand that acknowledging that you were traumatized does NOT mean you are wallowing. In fact, if we don't acknowledge our trauma, it controls us and makes our lives worse. To move forward, we've got to acknowledge the reality of what happened.

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 
Email Me: grow@growhealchange.org

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[PODCAST EPISODE 37] Despair, Depression & Heaviness - Moving Through

This week's episode is about the deeper layers hidden in our brain imprinting, physiology, and emotional body. Join me as I discuss the impact of repressed despair, how it begins and how to move through it and release it. 

Email me: grow@growhealchange.org
Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme 

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[PODCAST EPISODE 36] Intergeneration Trauma and Oppressive Systems - Part 2 - Societal Systems

 

This is the second part in a two part series on intergenerational trauma in response to the current events of 2020 and namely the murder of George Floyd and the world's response to that event. 

I want to give my perspective from the lens of trauma and intergenerational trauma. 

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email me: grow@growhealchange.org 

 

 

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[PODCAST EPISODE 35] INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND FAMILY SYSTEMS PART 1; THE FAMILY AND THE SELF



This is the first of a two part series on intergenerational trauma. This is a topic that is extremely important right now - although it has always been. 

In light of current events (George Floyd's murder) I want to take a couple episodes to explain how oppressive systems work. How they are held up by unacknowledged trauma. And how the family and self systems mirror societal systems. 

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email me: grow@growhealchange.org

ROUGH SHOW NOTES BELOW: 

ntergenerational Trauma and Oppressive Systems Part #1 - The Family & The Self

Wooph - hello people - hello hello hello  - there’s a lot going on in the world right now.
Specifically - George Floyd’s murder by police officers in Minneapolis.
And there are so many emotions. And there is so much chaos. And so I wanted to do my part to help the world. And help you guys understand what’s happening in the world on a much deeper level and through a slightly...

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I Choose to Honour Myself

I choose to honour myself

Today I did some serious journaling - reflecting. I’ve felt blocked in some areas of my mind and heart and I knew the answer was to go within.
So within I went.

I recognized some areas that I was abandoning myself still. Quitting on myself ever so subtly.

I got honest. I cried. I wrote.

I wrote about how quitting on myself when I was so close to the result was a way for me to re-enact my mothers’ abandonment and neglect.

Her broken promises.

Like a reflection in the rear-view of being 10 again and waiting for two hours for my mom to pick me up outside the school, alone. 

I remember the way the trees looked - like a dream. The emptiness I felt. I remember her finally showing up … no call to the school to let them know she’d be late - no idea when she’d show up… finally she’d come and I’d ask why… reaching again - for some acknowledgement… and she’d make some flippant, dismissive comment...

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Perfectionism, Healing and the Purity of our WORK

Unhealthy Perfectionism can be a form of self-abandonment and self-neglect.

When we get lost in the work as a way to numb ourselves, distract ourselves, or avoid emotional/relational areas of our lives that need tending to - we are being seduced by unhealthy perfectionism. 

As high-performers, we can find comfort in knowing we are productive, successful and amazing at the work we do. But when it becomes a way to escape our own emotional world, perfectionism can be a sign of deep shame. When it begins to affect our performance because we are in internal agony over the quality of the work - whether it is good enough, and when we feel the work is a reflection of who we are at our core (therefore if it is good we are good, and if it is bad we are bad) this is when we begin playing with fire. 

I’m not here to hate on perfectionism - I think it can be good/healthy in certain areas. You know, we want a surgeon to be perfectionist, we want artists to some degree to be...

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[PODCAST] Episode 31 - Toxic Shame - Shining a Light in the Darkness

In this episode, I'm talking about toxic shame. What it is, where it comes from, its connection to codependency & poor boundaries, and how to start shining a light on the darkness of shame in your life. 

Get the accompanying worksheet in the free facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/525326287969708

Email me: grow@growhealchange.org

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme

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Rupture & Repair - You Need to Understand this to Break Toxic Patterns After A Traumatic Childhood


Rupture and Repair is a concept I first discovered from Dr. Allan Schore's work a few years ago. 

It is a framework for understanding resiliency (the ability to come back from difficult situations personally and in relationships with others) and how empathy acts as a foundational component of life and health. 

When we understand the concept of rupture and repair - we start to understand trauma and it's deeper impact on life and work. All relationships will have ruptures.  The ruptures themselves are not even what causes trauma... it is a rupture without repair which causes trauma. 

In dysfunctional families - most or all (depending on the distance of the caregivers) ruptures go un-repaired. This impacts the brain functioning, physical and biological health, and emotional health of the child and causes the child to live in a state of "FRAGMENTATION" - a fancy way of saying that children who live in unsafe childhood homes essentially live separated from themselves and...

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