I had something to prove!

I didn’t want to be like my mom who was pure chaos walking and left nothing but destruction in her wake.

She was so uncontained and so wild and completely lacking any modicum of self-awareness.

As a kid I really just wanted to be normal.

I knew that I knew that I KNEW that I was not going to end up like my mom if I had anything to do with it.

So I constructed the image in my head of the successful put together woman I would one day become.

No longer an outsider.

No longer so different.

And I became that woman. And I’m so grateful for so many pieces of that.

And yet?

There was a part of me hidden - even from myself.

A part of me that was not fully alive.

And by part of me I mean the TRUE REAL me.

I hid behind being an expert on the nervous system - knowing the science and being so good at it. I hid behind my intellect. I wanted to be taken seriously. Seen as the consummate professional.

But yet? There was that other part of me that I had labelled...

There was a time when I didn’t have my right mind - my sanity. As a teen you could have diagnosed me with reactive attachment disorder and severe depression and ADHD among other things.

I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. My mom suffers with paranoid schizophrenia and manic depression.

Her childhood was awful - she talks about being suicidal at 11.

She didn’t make her way to healing.

And when she had me, she struggled. And as a result she severely abused and neglected me. She also decided to homeschool me until I was 11.

Growing up in that situation took its toll on my developing brain and body. On the outside I adapted well as I was very smart and quite gifted as a kid. I learned how to perform in school and in church. I kept my home life a secret.

People who knew my mom knew something wasn’t right - but I felt a pressure to protect my parents and so I put on a happy face. As I got older I continued to perform well despite the inner turmoil.

But the body is not...

‍Life force energy, survival energy, repression, raw expression! ‍

Most people are repressed. It’s just the truth.

Most people are terrified of the absolute full force of their life energy.

Especially if you’ve spent a life time being pushed back, held back and then doing it to yourself on repeat without even knowing it.

It’s not your fault.

Other people are scared of your life energy too.

So there’s another reason to mask and repress it and suppress it until your bones ache and you’re so bored with yourself that you wanna self sabotage to at least feel alive in the chaos.

The only problem? The more you repress the more you self-destruct.

The body wasn’t designed for that.

It was designed for expression - it was designed for flow. The body is an electrical conductor that carries energy to your organs, your DNA, your brain stem and every cell in your body.

This is trauma - the survival energy pent up and stored in your body that keeps your from...

.What about receiving? 

…being carried, guided and supported by the flow, by God who is life itself.

To receive, you open your hands
Open your heart…

Versus?

Versus chasing after everything from your mind and your tight shoulders.

You don’t receive from working hard in your brain.

Braced up for impact all the while. Desiring more in your heart of hearts and at the same time thinking hard about how to get it.

Receiving is the deep down breath into the tummy and down into the ground.

Receiving is the letting go through the body and the full experience of surrender…

My journey with receiving has been quite the roller coaster.

Because letting go wasn’t something that came naturally to me…

My biology was wired for holding so tight and tighter and tighter and tighter until it hurt like hell and then holding on some more. Abuse and neglect will do that to a person.

First with relationships - then with money.

I chased after my parents love.
I twisted and...

In this episode Carly shares her experience working together 1-1 for 6 months!

She talks about how it didn't feel fancy to invest in her life and nervous system because there wasn't a tangible result like there is when investing in business.

But ultimately, she fell in love with the work and experienced impact in both her business AND her life.

She also talks about her experience inside The School of Embodied Healing Systems and calls this work life-saving!

You will LOVE this candid conversation.

Links: Follow Carly on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlyhamiltonjones/

Work with Carly: https://hello.dubsado.com/public/appointment-scheduler/6321af1d3d298d2c64ae3646/schedule 

Follow Shyla on Instagram: www.instagram.com/growhealchange 

Work With Shyla 1-1: www.shylacash.com/jumpstart 

In this episode I am talking with an amazing renaissance woman who also happens to be a client of mine! Beth and I worked together for 6 months and she is here to share her experience and the surprising re-invigoration of her artistry that happened as a result.

In this conversation we talk about:
-The difference between thinking your way through something and feeling your way through something.
-How working with her nervous system helped her have space to stop fearing the anger of others
-How her boundaries have strengthened
-How Beth’s personal nervous system work changed her relationship with her mom

-Self-expression, truth and allowing people to have their own responses to your authenticity
-Being “good” and “bad”
And much more!

To see Beth’s art go to: https://www.bethknight.com/ 

To follow Beth on Instagram go to : https://www.instagram.com/mary.beth.knight/
To work with Shyla 1-1 go to: www.shylacash.com/work-with-me 

To follow...