I had something to prove!

I didn’t want to be like my mom who was pure chaos walking and left nothing but destruction in her wake.

She was so uncontained and so wild and completely lacking any modicum of self-awareness.

As a kid I really just wanted to be normal.

I knew that I knew that I KNEW that I was not going to end up like my mom if I had anything to do with it.

So I constructed the image in my head of the successful put together woman I would one day become.

No longer an outsider.

No longer so different.

And I became that woman. And I’m so grateful for so many pieces of that.

And yet?

There was a part of me hidden - even from myself.

A part of me that was not fully alive.

And by part of me I mean the TRUE REAL me.

I hid behind being an expert on the nervous system - knowing the science and being so good at it. I hid behind my intellect. I wanted to be taken seriously. Seen as the consummate professional.

But yet? There was that other part of me that I had labelled...