🌹High-Performance, Hard Work & Trauma🌹
I am reading Michael Dell’s awesome book - “Play Nice But Win”. And I love it. He tells his story of being quite a scrappy, resourceful entrepreneur since he was a teenager. The book zeroes in on the high-stakes transaction he successfully completed when he took his company private after being public. He did this because he wanted to make some big time changes within the company without being in the public eye.
WOOPH! Love that.
It’s thrilling and amazing.
And it’s got me thinking about what it takes to do the real deep hard work of bringing your big dreams to life in a healthy way.
There is nothing wrong with hard work! 🤯🤯
Being an entrepreneur, of course there is some hard work required on the journey of building your dream life and business.
Having big dreams does require some effort.
Anyone telling you otherwise is simply lying!
BUT - does it have to be SO hard? I think it’s time we reframe this conversation.
And, for me, I am a trauma coach and I believe in support and deep healing of all parts of being human.
AND I also believe in Excellence and ambition - and hard work is definitely part of that.
Actually excellence is one of my core values. I believe witnessing excellence keeps humanity healthy.
So how do we get our hands dirty with the work of our dreams without harming our bodies, our nervous systems and repeating trauma patterns?
Let's talk about that.
Hard work can be stimulating, capacity building, and confidence building. Think of lifting heavy weights, working with a team on an innovative project with a deadline.
What makes the work cross the line of being TOO hard, SO hard that it is traumatizing?
Well - actually it's not necessarily the work itself.
🫀It is the state of your nervous system when you are doing that work🫀.
Yes, I will say that again.
🫀It is not necessarily the work itself. It is the state of your nervous system🫀.
So many entrepreneurs and high-performers have learned how to leave their window of tolerance move into a high-sympathetic place of urgency and unhealthy stress to work and perform well.
Not to mention that many high performers have experienced some kind of abuse from teachers, coaches, and mentors as hardcore mentors can be attracted to talent and use harmful measures to bring about the high-performance - think Whiplash the movie (but that's a topic for another day).
Anyway, we really don't want that high-sympathetic tone when we are doing our purpose-work and building our dreams.
Because the cost of that is re-enforcing trauma patterns, straining the cells, and charging the metabolism a high, high price. And, usually there are some really painful beliefs driving that behaviour.
As a result of working from that high-sympathetic place, creating momentum and working on your dreams and business becomes a painful process of leaving the body and moving into survival states to get work done.
And then, there is little energy left for healthy relationships, restorative sleep and rest, and there can be a real cycle of shut down and burn out that persists there.
And - what if you are the opposite? What if work takes you to your deep parasympathetic shut down and you simply cannot muster enough energy to really do the deep powerful work that will take you beyond success to legacy work.
📌📌We don't want that either.
We want you living and working from your window of tolerance!
The place where we are actually most intelligent, productive, creative and available for safe, social connection. It feels like a deep breath just thinking about it.
From this place - your window of tolerance - hard work is exciting, thrilling and challenging but it is not putting us in a state of deep survival stress and overwhelm.
This is where the genius work starts to shine through you.
Where you are the best leader for your clients and team. And where you enjoy the challenge and joys of what you are building. And here you have the connection and embodiment available to know your body’s cues to when a break and rest is needed.
There is a rhythm that you can create in business and life from this window of tolerance. And, actually, the more time you spend working from here, the more you can increase your capacity for stress so that you can more easily bounce back from challenges with resilience.
Some of my clients are even surprised when they find out it is an option to work from a place of calm-aliveness rather than from survival. They simply have been so used to operating from that high-sympathetic “Raw nerve” feeling.
It’s good news. Because it means you can build something really powerful in the world. You can build your work, you can work hard, you can take on those massive challenges that your dreams are calling you to. And you can do it without traumatizing or re-traumatizing yourself.
How can you get started with this?
Here are two ways:
💎Use heat while you work. You can use a heating pad, and have it wrapped around your stomach or behind your back or on your shoulders while you are working. This helps to stimulate blood and oxygen flow and remind your body not to brace/freeze while you are working.
💎Timed breaks - set a timer for a work session (20 - 45 minutes) and then set a timer for breaks (5 - 10 minutes) on the break, check in with your body and notice what’s happening in there. On the break, you can stand on a vibrating machine (Life pro or Power )late) to help keep things moving inside.
And, if you really want to get to the nitty gritty of these body patterns and heal at the nervous system/biology level with both scientific and spiritual support then work with me!
I support high-performers and entrepreneurs in identifying and deeply healing this stuff at the core. I love working with driven, ambitious people who have a sense of destiny. Because you are the world changers that help us evolve. My skillset is tailored to YOU and your unique challenges as a solutions-focused, driven do-er.
You can heal as you go - that means you can build your dreams while you are healing. And as you do, your genius will shine through more and more.
Click here to apply to work with me 1-1: www.shylacash.com/application
Click here to read more about how I help high-performers: www.shylacash.com/workwithme