We can't heal trauma from trauma responses, and so it's so important that we understand that our responses to trauma are often so ingrained and imprinted that we don't recognize them as trauma responses. We think they (our responses) are who we are. But this is a trauma paradigm. And so, to heal, we move into a whole new reality, we move into the paradigm of healing.
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SEE SHOW NOTES BELOW:
Paradigm = a typical example or pattern of something; a model.
This is really what people are talking about when they’re talking about mindset - your mindset is your paradigm, it’s the patterns that are running beneath the surface. And I also believe in heart set which is like your emotional state because they inform each other and influence each other.
It is so essential and so important that when you’re healing that you focus on your internal mindset and heartset - that you work on your internal paradigm your internal patterns and your internal belief systems.
BECAUSE when you are doing and trying a bunch of things - like i hear people say “i’m doing this and this and this” but then when we coach on it - when we really look at at - all the things that they’re trying are coming from a paradigm and pattern of trying to fix ourselves, trying to look outside of us for help like fix me, save me right.
And the reason this doesn’t work is because we’re coming actually from a trauma response - we’re approaching the work from the trauma response rather than approaching the work from the belief and the decision that I’m here to heal. I’m here to take care of myself. There’s nothing wrong with me. Healing is working for me and it’s available to me and I love myself and trust myself now. And I see for sure that what happened to me was NOT my fault. I’m worthy and more than worthy and more than enough NOW.
This is actually where the work starts and continues and ends. And this is why coaching is soooo so powerful. Because sometimes we don’t see it. We don’t see and we haven’t developed the awareness of where we really are. And so to really dive deep into what driving us, what are our fundamental motivators to heal and transform?
Is it to make ourselves okay and fix ourselves and get over it so we can be normal?
OR - is it to experience deep healing from a place of love for ourselves and deep healing
Rigid and lacking possibility
Feeling that we shouldn’t be feeling the way we feel
Focused on preventing what happened in the past from happening in the future
External validation proves my worth
Running away from the pain
Open and trusting in your creative power - The power of infinite
Accepting and owning how we feel
Fully integrating the past and creating a NEW future
My worth just is - nothing can take it away
Holding the pain with acceptance and love
So when we are in a healing paradigm, everything looks different. When things come up we don’t shame and blame and torture ourselves, we actually recognize and appreciate that what is coming up is coming up for healing and it’s as simple as that.
And a good companion to this episode would be “how you think about trauma”