Pursuit… in and of itself - that is the magic. That is the divinity. That is the WHOLE point.
Not the pursuit of dreams from false-self. Not the pursuit in favour of validation or what we think we need to pursue to be worthy of existing.
But the pursuit of your divine vision - your inner calling and resonance, whatever that is for you.
THAT pursuit - is gold. And the pursuit itself will even HEAL you. At the deepest level. The healing and unfolding always happens in motion. The nature of life is change. The nature of life is movement and so is the nature of healing.
THAT pursuit will humble and electrify, and sculpt and mold and absolutely show you your own self more than anything else.
And by the time you have what you have pursued - you will continue the path ANYWAY. Because it was never about what you “wanted” it was never about the “goal” It was the doing itself - the reckoning of that. The making and the creating and the persisting and resisting and...
I choose to honour myself
Today I did some serious journaling - reflecting. I’ve felt blocked in some areas of my mind and heart and I knew the answer was to go within.
So within I went.
I recognized some areas that I was abandoning myself still. Quitting on myself ever so subtly.
I got honest. I cried. I wrote.
I wrote about how quitting on myself when I was so close to the result was a way for me to re-enact my mothers’ abandonment and neglect.
Her broken promises.
Like a reflection in the rear-view of being 10 again and waiting for two hours for my mom to pick me up outside the school, alone.
I remember the way the trees looked - like a dream. The emptiness I felt. I remember her finally showing up … no call to the school to let them know she’d be late - no idea when she’d show up… finally she’d come and I’d ask why… reaching again - for some acknowledgement… and she’d make some flippant, dismissive comment...