Growing up in a dysfunctional, chaotic family can create a feeling of chaos inside. This feeling of chaos represents the nervous system and emotional dysregulation within us as a result of trauma. We get stuck in chaos cycles when we are acting out of this nervous system dysregulation without knowing it, resulting in unwanted or unhealthy consequences to our lives.
In this episode, I share what Chaos Cycles Are, How Dysfunctional Families Create Cycles of Chaos and How We Can Begin to Move From Chaos in Harmony Inside.
What is a Chaos Cycle?
-Unresolved trauma within the brain and body that drives us to recreate experiences that are unhealthy or unwanted. Basically These are patterns in our lives that are resulting from nervous system and brain dysregulation and create a lack of harmony and health within us. Whether that’s our internal world or external world.
-This is an overwhelming feeling of chaos inside (survival energy/traumatic...
I choose to honour myself
Today I did some serious journaling - reflecting. I’ve felt blocked in some areas of my mind and heart and I knew the answer was to go within.
So within I went.
I recognized some areas that I was abandoning myself still. Quitting on myself ever so subtly.
I got honest. I cried. I wrote.
I wrote about how quitting on myself when I was so close to the result was a way for me to re-enact my mothers’ abandonment and neglect.
Her broken promises.
Like a reflection in the rear-view of being 10 again and waiting for two hours for my mom to pick me up outside the school, alone.
I remember the way the trees looked - like a dream. The emptiness I felt. I remember her finally showing up … no call to the school to let them know she’d be late - no idea when she’d show up… finally she’d come and I’d ask why… reaching again - for some acknowledgement… and she’d make some flippant, dismissive comment...