Oftentimes, I feel like a weak little girl.
And then I resist, and defend against the archetype of the small abused girl who just needed a mom.
And in my thrashing against her, she takes hold.
Chokes out my power.
And makes sure that I see. That I remember… she is me.
But she is only part of me.
It is in my resistance to her presence that I find myself at her beck and call on either side of the spectrum (resistant, defensive and rigid OR small and frail and unable to direct the flow of my own life).
The shadows take hold when we refuse to acknowledge their presence.
She is only part of me - she is neither bad nor good. Simply a neutral part of my emotional, physical and spiritual body which demands to be explored and most importantly… integrated. We all carry with us these fragile frail parts. And the first instinct is always to resist.
The stable, powerful adult woman seemingly has no need/time/energy to open the door to the fragile, unprocessed pieces of distant memories.
What’s the use?
What’s the point?
Get over it.
Only issue with that perspective is… what you resist persists darling.
Take it from me. If resistance was a good idea we would all have the rich emotional lives we desire then… wouldn’t we?
So… indeed part of being the embodied, powerful directed woman who is ready to receive from life what she truly desires means…. Integrating the scared and wounded little girl.
Childhood integration is at least 50% of what’s required to heal.
And it’s not all soppy melancholy either.
In acknowledging the grief of what’s been lost we uncover the strength of what remained and remains still.
In releasing the approval/validation/love that never came and never will from parents who just didn’t have it to give? We find the depth of self-assurance that’s been waiting underneath the addictive need to please.
In acknowledging and releasing the need to be rescued, we reveal the warrior and saviour archetype within ourselves to focus and move forward in power to create what we truly desire beyond the wounding.
This is it.
We can’t have one without the other.
In making space for the frail and fragile little girl who never got what she needed (instead of resisting her), I discovered… I am the woman who overcame the worst, with love and heart intact and will overcome much more still.
Continue Forward in Healing,
PS… we often crash up against our truth in the process of healing from trauma. It requires deep self awareness and holding the space for that all the way through your identity transformation from the wounded one afraid of life itself to the one who is building the strength to carry her life and even create it. This is deep work but it is the most important work you will do for yourself, your life, your career, your art, your business, your future. There’s nothing like it. It’s my honour to lead incredible, powerful women through this work. If you’d like to be one of them, click here to book a free consultation to learn more about my 6 month 1-1 Pain to Power coaching program.