We all know that learning to be with discomfort is an essential part of healing and growing. In fact, being with discomfort is an essential part of LIFE!
After all - didn’t the Buddhists say life is suffering?
But for you high performers and high achieving entrepreneurs who are used to powering through discomfort - have you noticed that that method and approach doesn’t seem to work as well for the healing journey?
Why is that?
It’s because we don’t see results in our trauma healing when we approach the healing journey from our survival patterns!
Of course - discomfort is part of healing.
But healing requires us to re-evaluate our relationship with discomfort! To heal, we have to support our nervous systems to relate differently to discomfort. Not powering through and burning out. And, not avoiding it all together.
So, what do we do!?
We soften into the...
Trusting Your Body’s Natural Process With My Client, Denita Bremer
This week, I have another beautiful client interview for you! I am talking with Denita Bremer. Denita is a ray of sunshine and such a resilient and compassionate woman! She is a Life & Trauma Coach and was certified as a life coach through The Life Coach School in 2018 and earned an advanced certification through Bev Aron’s Deep Dive Coaching Institute in 2021 and she will be going through the next round of The School of Embodied Healing Systems in August.
In this episode, Denita shares what it was like getting to know her nervous system. She talks about:
Navigating the impact of childhood trauma while at the same time having deep empathy and compassion for her parents
Her journey of learning to trust her body’s natural process
How doing this deep nervous system work had the unexpected benefit of enriching her spiritual practice
How this work has helped her release some of the fear of being...
You’re not the pressure and internal dialogue inside your head.
You’re not in the past. And... You’re not destined to eat only the crumbs and scraps of life.
EVEN if that’s what your childhood experience was like.
The imprints of trauma = get through the day, the hour. SURVIVE.
This is why most who grew up in pathological families have a thought/emotion loop that runs something like this:
“There’s not enough time.”
“There’s not enough money.”
“There’s not enough energy”
The system is churning as if we were still living in the danger and threat of abusive neglectful families.
And as this churn continues, we end up pushing away, running away from, or avoiding what we truly WANT, what we truly DESIRE and LONG for out of life.
We never experienced the safety of more than enough and so we believe it will never be safe to experience it.
Whose responsibility is it to bear the weight of your life?
We're getting philosophical in this episode to discuss one of the most important universal laws and its application to healing and transforming your life from the ground up.
Oftentimes, I feel like a weak little girl.
And then I resist, and defend against the archetype of the small abused girl who just needed a mom.
And in my thrashing against her, she takes hold.
Chokes out my power.
And makes sure that I see. That I remember… she is me.
But she is only part of me.
It is in my resistance to her presence that I find myself at her beck and call on either side of the spectrum (resistant, defensive and rigid OR small and frail and unable to direct the flow of my own life).
The shadows take hold when we refuse to acknowledge their presence.
She is only part of me - she is neither bad nor good. Simply a neutral part of my emotional, physical and spiritual body which demands to be explored and most importantly… integrated. We all carry with us these fragile frail parts. And the first instinct is always to resist.
The stable, powerful adult woman seemingly has no need/time/energy to open the door to the fragile, unprocessed pieces of distant...
Power comes through all kinds of vessels
The vessel can crack
It can break right open
Sometimes that’s necessary
Other times the vessel is flexible
It moves with the force - with the energy
Ebbing and flowing
Our job is never to wonder and contemplate how it’s going to come up - our power.
How it’s going to show up for us in our lives.....
Our job is to trust that the power is there.
And it might have to move through some emotional heaviness and fear and shame and uncertainty.
But it’s there. It’s emerging
As you release.
And it will do what it needs to do to come out and to emerge
And 99.999999% of our job is to allow it through
And if you break and crack while your power is coming through, that’s okay.
That’s all part of it.
So if you’ve been struggling to find your voice
To be seen
To live from your heart and embody the queen energy that was meant for you...
If you feel...
Let’s have a real conversation.
About all the shit I am absolutely tired of.
Completely bored of.
I will list them for you:
1. Feeling like I’m “too much”
2. Trying to “fit in”
3. Being anything other than my complicated, hilarious, confusing, intense, multi-passionate, intellectual, spiritual, ridiculous self
There are no rules.
There is no fucking right way.
THIS is the thinking that keeps people – especially women – stuck in cycles of high-functioning depression and anxiety and scurrying around trying really hard to be liked and loved and noticed.
Well… it’s shedding off me like old skin.
All the leftover layers of bullshit conditioning that kept the door to my own heart of hearts locked up and completely lifeless.
I’m just so over it.
You could say it’s trauma healing.
You could say it’s that I’m “Growing up”, you could say that it’s that I’m about to turn thirty.