Are you scared and intimidated around people you perceive as strong, powerful, smarter, or more accomplished than you?
I have felt this way sooooo many times
In fact it’s an area that I am CONSTANTLY working on within myself.
The little traumatized child in me wants to quiver and shake and fawn because that’s what I did as a little one to survive in my home around a mom who couldn’t handle the threat of someone’s light shining in her presence.
Thankfully after stumbling around in the beginning, I’ve managed to find some footing here.
What most of us do is feel weak and small and contemptuous - and then jealous - and then angry at ourselves and then feel like we shouldn’t feel that way and try and puff our chests to seem like we’re really not that vulnerable. I’ve done that a lot in my life.
And then? We think it’s so disgusting that we could allow ourselves to feel that way AGAIN after a childhood of making ourselves smaller - we...
I always rise
There’s a secret to recovery from anything really - failure, trauma, a breakup, addiction - anything.
And it’s a small little diamond in the rough of all souls that are strong enough to overcome the difficulties/pressures/tragedies of life ( which is really just overcoming our OWN shadows and self-concept and “bullshit” which of course is the result of the conditioning and layering of traumas and inherited imprints and nervous system patterns that have been handed down from the ages through the global family tree. And of course inherent in life itself is tragedy... the existential woes of the struggles we crash up against)
But back to the secret...and that is - the belief that you will always rise.
Because how are you going to get through the detox (literally or metaphorically) of your old identity? How will you have the stamina to move that life of yours forward? To recode your brain, to expand your window of tolerance and your capacity to...
Narcissistic Shame Off-Loading
Growing up with a narcissistic parent is a scary, difficult experience. Narcissists suffer from a deep wound of shame. Some say the narcissistic wound is the DEEPEST wound. The shame is so severe that the system creates a construct to protect the individual from collapsing under the weight of this toxic shame. This construct includes ego-protection and delusion, it also includes projection. Projection is the off-loading of a negative affect (emotion) onto another individual.
An example of this is the narcissist who is irresponsible, selfish and unable to connect with their child. This individual cannot attach and be there for the child because their narcissism prevents them from SEEING someone else. The narcissist is dissociated from their own body and self. And thus, is unable to form a connection with their baby. On deep, dissociated levels, the truth is known. However, this truth cannot be negotiated with or faced by the narcissist’s...