Life, Healing, It's All About Opening

Life, Healing... It’s all about opening. 

Last night I had a surge of sadness move through my full body for seemingly “no reason”. I wept. This morning I had the same. I wept. Full body chest weeping and heart-opening. It is what it is. No resistance. No shame. No fear.

Gone are the days of resistance to what is.

Gone are the days of resisting the full body nervous system and spiritual release.
I wonder if we’ve become so sanitized to what we should be feeling and thinking that we’ve forgotten what we ARE actually feeling and thinking in this moment.
When you’re beginning the journey of healing, you’re beginning the journey of opening. And when you’re opening, at first, you don’t want to rip the thing open because what will explode out may explode you and cause you to hurriedly seal that thing back on shut and keep on going through the motions.

But as time goes on and as you grow, the opening process is much more fluid. The...
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What EXACTLY does it take to break through resistance and shame?

What EXACTLY does it take to break through resistance and shame?

The gap between here and there… the great divide… the dark forest… that thick foggy smog that must be traveled through to get to where you wanna go.

How exactly do you get there?
And… before you start moving - how do you deal with the blanket of resistance and shame that keeps you laying low below desire?

One. Day. At. A Time Darling.
That’s it.

You don’t swallow that beast with all its fire whole on day one. It would explode you. 

Instead.
You sit up, swing those legs over the bed. And do today’s work.
And today’s work is the absolute hardest to do isn’t it?

And what do I mean by work? I’m not talking about it in the traditional sense --- although maybe I am --- but what I really mean is the emotional and spiritual work. Going about the business of sorting out the chaos inside. Untangling that big heavy knot one string at a time.

Gently tugging.

...

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Shed that old skin. Dance in the Metamorphosis

I’m moving through a time of deep detox in my life. On a cellular level I can feel myself release-release-releasing so much of the old skin. And it’s a complete internal process - has nothing to do with what’s outside of me in the physical sense.

If I’m honest I’ve definitely tried to manufacture metamorphosis in my before life by pushing things away in my outer world. People, places, things. But it never works does it?

No - this time - like the (many) other times I’ve gone through this deep and true and real spiritual cleansing - is all about my inner world. The habits, thought processes, and spiritual ties that for whatever reason are now ready to be released from me.  Whenever this happens, I feel this intense clarity of vision and direction.  The way becomes clearer. The sharpness of truth starts slicing away what's not so true at all.

Yes, it’s raw.
Yes, it does involve making some internal adjustments.
Yes, it definitely...

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Childhood Trauma & (REAL) Spiritual Power

To me, there is absolutely no recovery from childhood abuse and neglect and trauma without spiritual power. They simply co-exist together. Because everything is everything - the body, the spirit, the psyche, the emotional body… everything IS everything.

Ya.. but WHAT IS spiritual power EXACTLY?

Well… it’s the thing that carried you through the horrors you survived-  for one.
But also, it’s the thing that is ACTUALLY going to move your life forward beyond survival and into abundance, joy and most importantly receiving love.
And I’m not talking about the soggy weak spirituality of fake love and light which pretends everything is okay behind glossy dissociated eyes. 

 

I’m talking about the spiritual power that comes from integrating the WHOLE thing. From your head down to your toes, and from your toes back up to your head. Because spirituality without connection to the body is the kind of spirituality that actually perpetuates the...

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Pursuit - in and of itself - that's the magic

Pursuit… in and of itself - that is the magic. That is the divinity. That is the WHOLE point.
Not the pursuit of dreams from false-self. Not the pursuit in favour of validation or what we think we need to pursue to be worthy of existing.
But the pursuit of your divine vision - your inner calling and resonance, whatever that is for you.

THAT pursuit - is gold. And the pursuit itself will even HEAL you. At the deepest level. The healing and unfolding always happens in motion. The nature of life is change. The nature of life is movement and so is the nature of healing.

THAT pursuit will humble and electrify, and sculpt and mold and absolutely show you your own self more than anything else.

And by the time you have what you have pursued - you will continue the path ANYWAY. Because it was never about what you “wanted” it was never about the “goal” It was the doing itself - the reckoning of that. The making and the creating and the persisting and resisting and...

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I ALWAYS RISE

I always rise

There’s a secret to recovery from anything really - failure, trauma, a breakup, addiction - anything.

And it’s a small little diamond in the rough of all souls that are strong enough to overcome the difficulties/pressures/tragedies of life ( which is really just overcoming our OWN shadows and self-concept and “bullshit” which of course is the result of the conditioning and layering of traumas and inherited imprints and nervous system patterns that have been handed down from the ages through the global family tree. And of course inherent in life itself is tragedy... the existential woes of the struggles we crash up against)

But back to the secret...and that is - the belief that you will always rise.

Because how are you going to get through the detox (literally or metaphorically) of your old identity? How will you have the stamina to move that life of yours forward? To recode your brain, to expand your window of tolerance and your capacity to...

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[PODCAST EPISODE 35] INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND FAMILY SYSTEMS PART 1; THE FAMILY AND THE SELF



This is the first of a two part series on intergenerational trauma. This is a topic that is extremely important right now - although it has always been. 

In light of current events (George Floyd's murder) I want to take a couple episodes to explain how oppressive systems work. How they are held up by unacknowledged trauma. And how the family and self systems mirror societal systems. 

Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email me: [email protected]

ROUGH SHOW NOTES BELOW: 

ntergenerational Trauma and Oppressive Systems Part #1 - The Family & The Self

Wooph - hello people - hello hello hello  - there’s a lot going on in the world right now.
Specifically - George Floyd’s murder by police officers in Minneapolis.
And there are so many emotions. And there is so much chaos. And so I wanted to do my part to help the world. And help you guys understand what’s happening in the world on a much deeper level and through a slightly...

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I Choose to Honour Myself

I choose to honour myself

Today I did some serious journaling - reflecting. I’ve felt blocked in some areas of my mind and heart and I knew the answer was to go within.
So within I went.

I recognized some areas that I was abandoning myself still. Quitting on myself ever so subtly.

I got honest. I cried. I wrote.

I wrote about how quitting on myself when I was so close to the result was a way for me to re-enact my mothers’ abandonment and neglect.

Her broken promises.

Like a reflection in the rear-view of being 10 again and waiting for two hours for my mom to pick me up outside the school, alone. 

I remember the way the trees looked - like a dream. The emptiness I felt. I remember her finally showing up … no call to the school to let them know she’d be late - no idea when she’d show up… finally she’d come and I’d ask why… reaching again - for some acknowledgement… and she’d make some flippant, dismissive comment...

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Perfectionism, Healing and the Purity of our WORK

Unhealthy Perfectionism can be a form of self-abandonment and self-neglect.

When we get lost in the work as a way to numb ourselves, distract ourselves, or avoid emotional/relational areas of our lives that need tending to - we are being seduced by unhealthy perfectionism. 

As high-performers, we can find comfort in knowing we are productive, successful and amazing at the work we do. But when it becomes a way to escape our own emotional world, perfectionism can be a sign of deep shame. When it begins to affect our performance because we are in internal agony over the quality of the work - whether it is good enough, and when we feel the work is a reflection of who we are at our core (therefore if it is good we are good, and if it is bad we are bad) this is when we begin playing with fire. 

I’m not here to hate on perfectionism - I think it can be good/healthy in certain areas. You know, we want a surgeon to be perfectionist, we want artists to some degree to be...

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Rupture & Repair - You Need to Understand this to Break Toxic Patterns After A Traumatic Childhood


Rupture and Repair is a concept I first discovered from Dr. Allan Schore's work a few years ago. 

It is a framework for understanding resiliency (the ability to come back from difficult situations personally and in relationships with others) and how empathy acts as a foundational component of life and health. 

When we understand the concept of rupture and repair - we start to understand trauma and it's deeper impact on life and work. All relationships will have ruptures.  The ruptures themselves are not even what causes trauma... it is a rupture without repair which causes trauma. 

In dysfunctional families - most or all (depending on the distance of the caregivers) ruptures go un-repaired. This impacts the brain functioning, physical and biological health, and emotional health of the child and causes the child to live in a state of "FRAGMENTATION" - a fancy way of saying that children who live in unsafe childhood homes essentially live separated from themselves and...

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